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B r u m o u s
/bruːməs/
(adj.) of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog; relating to winter or cold, sunless weather.
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I'm sorry.
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He felt terrible.
Absolutely, immensely, heart achingly terrible.
He didn't have any right to do what he did, he didn't even have the authority to question her motives.
H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶r̶y̶.̶
But Aaron couldn't help it, he couldn't stop the sudden anger and solitude that erupted through his body; he couldn't stop the thoughts of James spilling everywhere.
Sometimes Aaron hated the fact that he ever got into reading.
Sometimes he wished he never snuck around his parent's house and rummaged through thousands of books each night before he went to bed.
Sometimes, it all seemed worthless.
All Aaron knew was when James started reflecting through his eyes, and when his caged thoughts of loneliness and worthlessness broke free, it all shattered.
Even now, sitting on a rusty old slide, Aaron still felt as bad as he did when he walked out the door.
The pain and shame was like a snake; slithering its way from the tips of his toes, to the center of his heart.
Aaron knew that at some point he was going to fuck everything up, and he just reached that point earlier than he initially planned to.
He ran a shaky hand through his hair before muttering out a trembling breath. Her teary eyed expression was glued onto his brain, glimmering through his eyes wherever he looked. It was a pain that he couldn't control, a pain he couldn't help but feel.
Aaron always shrugged off things that didn't matter, but no matter how much he tried, or how much effort he applied, he simply couldn't couldn't couldn't do it.
Rose wasn't something that he could simply wipe off a dinner table, she was a stain; a stain so prominent and noticeable that leaving it would feel like fire creeping up your body.
Because right now as Aaron stared at the kids that aimlessly played with himself, it was when he felt the most terrified.
It wasn't the kind of fear he felt for his brother -one where the adrenalin flowing through your veins was achingly comforting but absolutely terrifying at the same time- but this fear was something much much worse.
It was a fear that dwelled in the depths of your soul; one that seemed to always be sealed within a small sack, but not, it was as though the whole sack exploded open right in his guts.
A fear so absolutely terrorising, so immensely nerve wrecking that Aaron raced back to his apartment.
H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶.̶
It was this sudden terror that jolted his body so unexpectedly; so ferociously strong that it seemed to knock the breath out of Aaron.
S̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶.̶
YOU ARE READING
Hers | ✔ | (Editing)
Teen Fiction❝I know love can be as pointless as it is to Nancy, and perhaps even as revolting as it is to Bill Sikes, but for me, I don't think it would be half as bad with you.❞ Somehow he always knew he was hers, He just needed a reason to believe it was...
