Haywire ▷ Stilinski

Chapter 17. Losing Momentum

It's been five days. 

Five whole days and nothing new has come up. We haven't seen a new chimera or even heard from the Dread Doctors. Five whole days of silence. Five whole days of awkward tension filled silence that nobody is brave enough to break. 

I can tell that Scott is torn on whether or not he wants to speak to me. Hell, I don't think he knows where to even start. I don't either. I feel so disconnected from him that I hardly know how to act around him. Stiles, Lydia and I are the only ones actually talking... and even then it's brief. I don't know why the lines of communication were dropped, but suddenly everything is different than it was before. 

Stiles had mentioned to Scott about what happened to me, he told me that he talked to him about it and Scott had asked him if I was okay. Scott wouldn't ask me himself, but Stiles told him that I was doing just fine. Which wasn't technically a lie. I feel different than I had before, like I'm stronger. My senses are heightened in a way that I feel way more powerful than I did back when I was a hybrid. I keep hearing screams, random screams that I can't place. I mentioned it to Lydia and she thinks that the Dread Doctors had maybe turned me into several different supernatural creatures, one of them being a Banshee. 

It makes sense, why they kept giving more and more tests. They kept adding more and more pieces to me, trying to make me stronger. Trying to turn me into something extremely violent and dangerous. I'm not sure if they failed or not, because maybe they did succeed and they are just waiting for me to snap and turn into whatever they want me to be. I honestly don't know anymore. 

My mother could tell that something was up, so I told her everything. I even told her about Tracy. I was afraid that she would practically disown me because she shares a lot of the same feelings as Scott when it comes to saving people and such. Thankfully, she knew the difference between murder and self-defense and she assured me that Scott would come around eventually. 

I'm tired of waiting on him to come around. 

As far as I'm concerned, if he wants to cut me out of his life... I'm not gonna try and stop him this time. 

Do I really need him? I've managed just fine these last five days without his support and his help. I've gotten through every nightmare without him. I've managed to get out of bed every morning without him. I've managed to live without him. 

It was obvious that the Donovan thing was starting to really get to Stiles. He was keeping to himself a lot, and he kept losing focus in conversations. I knew that he was feeling guilty and wanting to stop lying to everyone about it and come clean, but he also knows that there is a time and place for everything and right now might not just be the best time to tell anyone.

We were both currently laying in my bed, our eyes glued to the ceiling as we lay in silence. We had to get ready for school in about twenty minutes, but neither of us could find the will to move just yet. I've been sort of on autopilot when it comes to school. I get there and go to class, but I'm only half listening to what the teachers are saying. I have too much going through my head sometimes, and school ends up being a less important priority. 

Stiles let out a sigh and ran his hands over his face, "We should probably get up." 

"We probably should," I agreed, but not having any intention to follow through with my statement. 

Because that meant I was going to have to change my clothes. That ran the risk of Stiles seeing the scars on my stomach. I haven't told him about them nor do I plan on going into detail about it any time soon. I don't know why they didn't heal properly, but I fear that I'll have them for the rest of my life. I'll always have this constant reminder of what the Dread Doctors put me through.