FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

X

I've always been a fan of the rain.

it's my favourite type of weather. I love the way it falls from the sky so effortlessly, so normally, so randomly and it has the potential to make people feel, for people to be mad. drops of nothing but water falling from heavy clouds, soaking peoples clothes, curling people's hair. several raindrops happening at the same time .. creating an almost calming, soothing sound as they hit the stone barren pavement.

the rain may cause distress for human beings but it allows plants, flowers, trees to bloom into something so natural, so beautiful. it takes something bad to turn into something great.

but as I walked home from the train station, in the pouring rain- I hated the weather. I didn't want to go home and shower, be productive, wash away the stench. I was in a mood where I didn't want to talk to people. I'm not sure why I was in such a careless mood, maybe because what I thought would be a good day turned out to be shit because of a boy I never even knew.

I wanted to be alone that night but my parents and sister never understood that so they questioned my uncalled fury as I walked through the door.

"I had a bad day at work." I remember mentioning to them. a simple, short answer that would hopefully stop them paying attention to me and continue watching the brainwashing TV.

but my mother has always been a lady of words, she has to speak. "you wouldn't need to worry about that if you got married."

"what?" I nearly gasped.

I dropped my backpack on the floor, droplets of rain falling to the wooden floorboards. "are you saying that if I got married ... I wouldn't need to worry about a job?"

"yeah-"

my anger was being fed. "so now you're expecting me to be a housewife too?" I exclaimed, tucking my wet strands of baby hairs behind my infrared bleak ears.

"I went to university for a reason mum!" I raised my voice. "I've got a degree in photography ... and I will find a secure job."

"getting married does not mean I need to settle down, be a housewife and throw away my degree. you must be joking if you think that's ever going to happen?" I scoff as my sister crouched down in her seat on the parchment couch.

"this is serious Valentina." my dad speaks up. "we really think Elias is perfect for you."

"I told you to drop this subject of me getting married." I lower my voice. I'm afraid because my parents look really serious, from their ashamed looks, hopeful eyes.

"but it's the right age to. all these girls are getting boys-"

"who cares!"

my mum stands up, throwing her scarf over her shoulder. "I care! you're my daughter and you need to start thinking seriously about this. marriage is essential."

"I don't want to talk about this." I picked up my backpack, running up the stairs- woeful.

I can't get married- that's what I thought. I didn't want to be committed, give my young adult life away to a stranger. I didn't want to be tied down, surrounded with strict expectations. let's not forget that the boy who's apparently perfect for me is my sisters lover.

my phone rang immediately as I sat on my bed- about to cry.

I picked it up. "hello?"

"hi Valentina. sorry to call so late but this is important. we'll need you back at the studio tomorrow, some photo shots need a retake. hope that's okay with you?"