FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

XII

"okay let's take a break!"

the director had announced and I was more than happy to move away from the camera, to no longer look into your daring eyes. the swirls of cocoa held nothing but cloudiness and inquisitive mystery as if you were trying to figure me out.

you continued to stare at me even when I switched off my camera, shrugged on my jacket and picked up my backpack- walking to the separate room for lunch along with everyone else.

it made me feel uneasy, uptight because your eyes were on me and I didn't have the courage to look back at a man like you.

I don't know what it was. I'd never felt so ... intimidated.

so I finished my lunch in silence, listening to the gossip of a girl with ponytails as she talked loudly to her blonde friend. then you came up to me, with a smile.

a smile.

that was for me.

me.

I nearly choked on my water as you stood at the edge of the alloy table- about to say hello to me.

but I found you bothersome, you didn't like my photography and you seemed like the kind of boy parents warn you about. so I got up, ignored you and walked away.

that of course, surprised you as you followed after me like a lost puppy which was a contrast to your outer appearance. the leather jacket, the heroic cap, the motorbike and the serene tone of your rooted virtuous voice. you stopped in front of me as I held my camera.

"what?"

"listen, the shots today were much better. more ... acceptable." it sounded almost like an apology- was it? I bet you're reading this and shaking your head.

who am I kidding? you're never going to know my thoughts.

I glanced at you- not wanting to give you any of my attention. "I didn't ask for your opinion but thanks anyway." I faked a smile.

"jesus, you're cold."

"no it's actually warm in here-"

"I meant-"

"I know."

I sighed, feeling bad as you stood beside me- not wanting to move, unsure of what to say with your pockets unzipped, your figure consecutive. "how do you know so much about photography anyway? you're an actor." I said.

"I have a friend." and you walked away from me.

but who walked away at the end of our story?