FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

XV

the first day of work made me wake up excitedly.

my parents and Rhea didn't mention Elias at all, not even the word marriage came out of their mouths. so I felt relieved. it was nice for them to control what they had to say and to be more quieter.

I took the train, to the same studio, to the same bustling road.

and as I waited for the traffic light to turn red, I spotted you walking towards me.

you had that lordly smirk on your face that I didn't realise was part of your signature look. your arms were on either side of you as you took long strides towards me.

I looked away immediately- realising that you were actually walking towards me, that you knew who I was. you put me on edge because we seemed so contrastive from each other yet so similar.

I could tell you came from a middle class background, whereas my parents were struggling to make ends meet. I could tell you were popular, had numerous contacts, had the confidence to succeed at life. me on the other hand, I tried so hard to be fearless.

your confidence was visible because you stood beside me, knocking your side into mine eagerly. "are you not going to thank me?"

I knew what you were referring to yet- "thank you for what?"

you shook your head- your bangs moving and you walked ahead, leaving me behind. you turned your head to look back at me and once again you smirked.

it's now that it hits me with remorse that I have a lot to thank you for.

thank you for changing my life. thank you for giving me confidence and care at an age I needed it the most. thank you for giving me the fortitude to stick up to my family. thank you for giving me encouragement to improve my photography, improve myself too. thank you for driving me to places and being someone I could finally travel with. thank you for holding my hand when I'd get scared, especially during horror movies. thank you for letting me use you as my pillow. thank you for allowing me to walk into your life.

but most importantly ...

thank you for breaking my heart.