FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

XXXVI

I walked past your apartment today. I'm not sure if you live there anymore- maybe you moved in with your lost lover.

I think I'm learning to accept the fact that you're in love with someone else. the idea of you being more content with life, in general makes me feel relieved.

but memories forced themselves into my mind as I lowered my eyes, walking quickly.

"hey I know you're hurting but you're not alone."

"I dont need help. I just want the pain to stop."

you held me as I started to shake because of the pain. you helped me even when I couldn't.

"calm down! you're scaring me!"

I pushed myself up against the wall when you couldn't control your envious anger.

"isn't this amazing?"

you shouted in delight when you took a selfie of us.

"were you ever going to tell me?"

I cried and cried and cried.

"I know I've kissed you like ten times but just like another ten please."

you made me laugh as you picked me up- kissing me.

"come over here and make me."

I challenged you and the smirk on your face was fierce.

"you're just not the same anymore."

you whispered in the darkness.

"come sit in my lap."

I obliged and kissed you with meanings you never seemed to understand.

"we're more than just friends and you know it. can you just fuck off already?"

me losing my temper.

"beautiful."

when I caught you staring and you didn't look away.

"I used to think love was real."

me ... in the present.