FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

XXXI

we had our good times don't you think Jin?

you'd hold my hand, gripping it in yours whenever we went shopping- taking the escalator with me carefully, because you knew I was afraid of heights. you'd share a video that you found hilarious from instagram with me, and your loud laughter would blast through my ears as you tried to hold your phone still. you'd end up on the floor. you'd share your snacks with me, at your apartment, at work, at a cafe or at the busy cinema.

you'd go crazy if I ever posted a selfie on social media- holy fuck you're gorgeous, give me a warning next time you post something dangerous because- we both knew what happened after that. we even baked gooey cookies together once and it was so cliche because we both had flour on our faces, our hair was dishevelled yet we couldn't stop kissing. it's like we really were in love mutually.

you'd keep your arm around my waist, in a secure grip every time we'd attend a celebratory party for work- we disappeared once to have sex in the toilets and we were drunk on champagne along with our lustful kisses. there were a lot of embarrassing moments spent with you at those parties- moments that made me want to hide my face away from the crowds ... like how you'd whisk me away to the dance floor, our fingers tangled as you acted silly just to make me laugh.

you'd join me on your balcony in the early morning, where the cold air touched our naked skin, it's when I wanted to be alone with the world- your front pressing against my back as you wrapped your long arms around me. sometimes we'd stay quiet and watch the sunrise because we couldn't sleep.

our good times have to include our time in bed. whether it was us sleeping side by side, legs entangled and head on your chest or if it was us making sweet love.

we loved our pillow fights too. once your pillow nearly fell out of the window! you loved pushing me in a trolley at the grocery store and when we tried to get you in it, you stumbled onto your butt- screeching in amusing pain that attracted looks. you'd try and kiss me sloppily at any chance you could- whether it was at work, at lunch, dropping me home in your huge car or-

you always seemed so serious and mysterious at the beginning .. but it's now that I realise, you're just a goofy guy who wants love.

just like everyone else in this cruel and hurtful world.