FATALISTIC LOVE ✓

XX

after a month, I became more complacent at my new work place. I got used to the people around me, felt less anxious.

life felt bearable again. my parents hadn't mentioned Elias once, Rhea was blissful, no one annoyed me at work and I was content with taking photographs.

but the only thing that was bothering me was the fact that my heart ached a little every time I stood behind the camera, looking at you through the lens- your beauty astounding me and making me thunderstruck. your voice, your talent, your laugh and your ability to get on with people. the way I admired you from behind the camera was real.

and it scared me.

love, romance ... scares me.

every time I'd analyse my photos of the actors from the day, the director would always come up to me- patting me on the shoulder like I'm a child. good job- he'd say to me. but they never saw what I did. they'll never have the same perception of art (you) as me.

because what I saw from the photos was different. I saw you expressing vigorous emotion through facial expressions, your voice and your frame. you snap into a role that was made for you. beady eyes welling up with tears at the female actor, your hands clutching the object closer, your steps careful and the tone of your voice changing. the photos capture you halfway through perfecting an act.

I saw you differently from everyone else. I saw you as a skilled actor, a good companion, a hardworking human and a man.

but what I forgot to include in that list is- heartbreaker.