Types of tears (COMPLETED)

chapter 4

I walk outside my house the next day for school, it was colder than usual, so I had to put on a big sweat, I didn't like it, it made me feel bigger than I am, it made me wanna hide more.

I get on the bus and sit next to a girl that look younger than me, probably a middle school student. I pull out my glasses and my science textbook and start doing the homework I was supposed do yesterday, I look at the problems and start to do them, getting neverse when I didn't understand them, I google the question and fill out the answer when I found them, and I do the same for geography. After that I see outside the window and realize that I was only 5 minutes away from school, I pull out my history home more work and fill in the answers as fast and logical as I could and get of the bus as it stopped next to the school.

I push my glasses up with my finger as I walk into school, looking down the hole way, hearing names being called out at me as I walk past them, why did they call me name? Did it make them feel cooler? Did it make them feel better about themselves, it was stupid. I walk into my English and literature class and sit-down in the same place, sliding down in the chair to disappear as much as I could from the people in the class, then I remember the stupid project.

I look around, almost no one sitting down, all of them were up, where we gonna do this today? I had to think a way out of this. I stand as Mr Steve come in and greets the class telling everyone that a buss was waiting for us outside, and we had 10 minutes to be on it, most of the others ran out, trying to find the best bus sit, and others walked out calmly, but I wait for everyone to leave to talk to Mr Steve, I couldn't do this. I just couldn't.

Just as soon as everyone gets out I walk to Mr Steve that was getting some papers from his desk.

"Mr... Mr Steve" I say as low as possible for him to still hear me.

"Yes" he answers looking up at me, standing tall with all his things inside his hands.

"About this project" I mumble, not knowing how to put everything together, so he could let me out on this one. "I don't think I'll be able to do it" I say biting my lip.

"And why is that?" He asked concerned, Mr Steve was the cool teacher as some would call it. Most students say he's their favorite teacher, and the truth is Mr Steve is a real lay back kind of guy, so I pray from him to give me a chance to not do this.

"Well" I didn't wanna say that I have trouble talking to people, I didn't wanna say I didn't wanna hear people talk about how beautiful or horrible life is, I already know how life is and don't need anyone to tell me anything that i already know, I didn't want to tell him that this project would just drain me, I didn't wanna tell him that this brought up my anxiety, so I lied. "I have a lot of homework from other teachers, and things that home are busy too, I help around the house and I help my parents too, I just don't have the time" I say with my head low, but as soon as I brought it up I could see that he didn't believe a word I said, I just hold my breath hoping he wouldn't ask for the truth.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, we have 3 mouths for this, and the report will be as long as you want it to be, I'm sure you can find the time" he smiles and gives me a wink at the end, playing along with my lie, I sigh and head outside with Mr Steve behind me, happy he didn't ask anything else, but depressed that I didn't get out of this situation.

When I got on the bus I looked around, almost all the sites where taken except 5, one in front, but that's always where the teacher sits, one next to a ' popular ' kid, so that one was a no, another one next to a girl that had her boobs sticking out of her shirt, that was a no too. The last 2 option where in the back next to a guy that had black hair with green stripes and next to a kid that was reading a book, I sit next to the book guy, hoping he would ignore me the hole way, but I regret it the moment I sit down.