Types of tears (COMPLETED)

chapter 9

At the end of the day I walk out of school and I stop at the door, it was big enough for people to just walk past me to get out. I see tiny drops still falling, but it looks like nobody felt them, I saw everyone just walk out normally. Just as I was about to step out I felt someone grab my shoulder.

I look to my left and see Rebecca. Just looking at her made me feeling nerves, I was not good with people, and less pretty girl. "See you tomorrow" she smiles at me and walks away with another girl. I see them walk to the parking lot and get on a red Kia and drive away.

I felt a push on my other shoulder seeing people walk past me, then I realize it was just standing there like and idiot, I speed walk away, like if I was walking away from embarrassment. I get to the buss just when it pulls up and get on. There were no sits, so I have to stand, I walk to the end and grab the handle laying my head on my arm as I feel the bus more. I feel OK I guess, I didn't feel sad or happy, just OK.

I get off the bus at my stop and still walk to the park. I was cold and wet, and it looked like the rain would come any second but I still went, like I said I want to prove a point. I sit down on the same swing set, and again see no one, I didn't even see the sun, looks like the sun doesn't even want to see me. I smile I little at my joke and rock back and forth. I didn't want to take my books out because if it started to rain I would ruin them and have to get new ones, that is if the school even had extra ones, which they probably didn't.

After a long time of doing nothing I feel my pocket vibrate. I get confused, who would message me? As I pull out my phone and open it using my password blacksoul I see Peyton name come up.

Peyton, I grunt remembering the talk I had with my mom, is he here? I open the message read "they buddy, where are you? I'm waiting for you" buddy? Really? Did he still think I was 6 years old?

This just made me want to stay here forever, I hated when Peyton would come. I wasn't in the mood to be put down by my perfect brother. I put my phone away and swing back and forth for a long time, filling my phone buzz away, I knew who it was and I didn't want to even look at them. I looked above me and I could see the night sky, the clouds faded away leaving the shy covered with stars and a big moon. After I started to feel cold wind pass by me I got up, if I stayed longer I would probably freeze here.

I walk to the house and wait a little before opening the door, I could see the lights one but I didn't hear anything. After I put the keys in and open the door, closing it behind me. I walk in, and see everyone eating on the dinner table, something from a pan, it looked like lasagna. Of course, they would only cook for him. As I walk in I see my mom smiling at something Peyton said and frown just as she looked at me, I couldn't see my dad's face because he was giving me his back, and Peyton was to busy to see me.

"Why are you all wet!" My mom screamed getting up from her sit and walking to me, just as everyone else looked my way. "Why didn't you come home if you were wet! You're going to get sick."

"I just went out" I mumble, again trying to prove a point. Just as I look away from my mom I see him, the devil himself.

"Hey man, it's been so long" he gets up and pats me hard on my back, making me go forward a little as I look up at him, pushing up my glasses up with my finger.

I look at him up and down, seeing his perfect face with his designer shoes and perfectly clean clothes, haven't even been here a minute and already feel like trash in front of him.

"Why did you come?" I ask right of the bat, I didn't care if I sounded rude or annoyed, I was.

Peyton looks at me this time up and down before chuckling. "Can't I come and see my brother?" He grind at me, I almost felt a smirk in it.

"It's the middle of school year, you shouldn't be here" I point out, but before he could answer my mom pulls me away.

"OK enough" she said. "We'll talk about that later, I want you to take of those clothes and take a shower."

I follow her orders and walk away from that place, the farthest I was away the better. I take a long time in the shower, until I felt it was almost time to sleep.

As I get out I see Peyton sitting on the couch with my clothes on, I knew he would just help himself with anything that was mine without asking. I walk to my room and see my mom inside already, taking out my blankets for him. I stand there, just waiting for her to see me, to see if she would even ask before taking my stuff.

When she turns around she looks at me and then looks back at my stuff and continue to take stuff out. Unbelievable. I walk to my bed and sit down, just waiting for her to leave.

"Peyton is staying here for awhile" she said after a moment.

"How long?" I ask right away.

"Maybe a week and a half, he didn't tell me for sure." I sigh, probably louder than I should have. "Don't start" she warned. "I was wondering if he could stay in your room" she said, and I jerk up.

"What?!"

"Don't act like its something so impossible" she glares at me. "I don't want to see him sleeping on the sofa for more than a week".

We only had 4 rooms, one for my parents, another for me, and one that was Peyton, but my mom worked her way to fill it up with things we never use, but for some reason we have to have. I didn't fill it up with things, so why should I pay?

"No, that's not gonna happen, I'm not sharing this room with Mr perfect" I snap out.

I hear her sigh. "Again? Again with this? I thought we talked about it."

I roll my eyes and shake my head seeing how my mom stood in front of me.

"When will you realize that I love you both" she said, her voice tired and weak, as if someone forced her to say it.

"Great way of showing it" I say looking away, I couldn't look at her I just couldn't.

"I'm tired of this" I hear her say as she puts the things down. "Please just try, just try. Please,  that's all I'm asking for" I could feel her come closer and put a hand on my check making me flinch away. Then I hear a long pause with a sigh. "Can you at least try for your brother? What has he done to you?"

I look at her just for a second before looking away. I remember all the times he laughed at me for not understanding something, all the times he would take the spotlight away from me, all the "I love you" he would get from my mom and dad, and all the once I never got. I remember how he would be good at anything so easily, and how mom and dad, at parties or on phone calls, would always complement or brag about him. I remember wishing that was me. I remember wishing to see their love for me just like they showed their love for him. I remember that.

I almost feel a tear slip my eye, that's when I knew I needed to end this fast, I didn't matter how.

"Can I at least stay alone one more night?" I asked in calmest voice possible, after I hear a yes for her and the door being close I let my eyes water, I felt them against my cheek, and hate myself of it.

I hate that I wasn't dead inside, I hate that I could feel, I hate that I was so sad, because all I want is love. I hate it so much