Part 52

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Seokjin

Our whole flight had been very quiet. I can't look at him in the eye. Probably I am too shy about what happened last night. 11 hour flight is a torture.

I can feel him looking at me from time to time. I kept myself busy by playing games on my phone or pretending to be doing something in my laptop.

When the plane lands, all I want is to jump off the plane and escape Taehyung's intense gaze. And I hope he will stop wearing his beret hats because he's so handsome in those and it's driving me crazy.

"Why are you so eager to leave the plane Jin?" I heard him say. I can feel his hand on my back. "You're not talking to me the whole flight. You regret kissing me last night?"

How can he stay calm? "No Mr. Kim. I don't regret anything but it made me feel guilty. I know you have a girlfriend and a daughter." I'm not guilty. Why would I? I'm your boyfriend. But your memory only remembers your past girlfriend. How dare she pretends you're still together. That gol-

I was cut in my thoughts as I felt him giving me a peck on the lips. Shocked is all that I can feel right now. "Don't feel guilty. We will talk about it some other time." How dare you look at me so lovingly Taehyung. "I'll see you back at the office tomorrow okay?"

What can I say? I tried resisting myself for 9 weeks. 9 weeks of being with him in the same hotel, almost 24/7, made me want to barge inside his room and yell at him that I am his true love. As much as I want to slap him for stealing a kiss, I love it. I just wish he will kiss me longer than that. Or longer than last night. If that old lady did not interrupt, I can't imagine where we ended up. I just miss him so much.

I waited for my Uber to arrive. Before my car left, I saw Chanri and his lier girlfriend arrived. Now I am sure about something and my heart is filled with different emotions.

Sadness, anger, frustration, hate and so much more.

I really need someone to talk to today. Jimin is busy in the office. I messaged Hoseok, and I'm glad that he's available.

"So you really came to see me with all those luggages with you. Can't your stories wait?" Hoseok said as he look at the bags I have with me.

"Stop whining Hobi please? I need someone to talk to and not someone to rant on me." I said, kind of disappointed.

"Okay sorry! So, how your trip with Taehyung? Did he finally remembers you or he's still trying his best to forget you?"

"Hobi?!"

"I'm sorry Jinnie but that gucci guy really is getting into my nerves."

"I think it's some kind of amnesia but I don't know what. Don't blame him. I'm trying my best to understand him-"

"And you're also hurting yourself at the same time? Jin what kind of reasoning is that?" Hobi is so against me still in love with Taehyung after all this time.

"What can I do? I did not come with him in Europe to hurt myself. I went there for work. It's purely professional Hobi. Besides, I can't blame him. It's not his fault to be in that situation. I am sure that nobody wants to suffer from memory loss."

"So you don't have plans of introducing Soobin to him?" Hoseok asked.

"How can I do that? He can't remember me and the relationship we had before. Of course he will not believe me." I answered.

"But Jin, don't you think it's reversible? I wonder why he can't still remember you? I guess you should kiss him. Maybe he can finally remember you."

It happened. I can't say it. I stayed quiet.

I think Hosoek got the meaning of my silence he swallowed his juice hard. "Shook Jinnie! He kissed you?"

"But he still can't remember me. Hobi, it's so hard. He is so close to me but I can't love him. I can't hold of him. I can't tell him about me. How will he believe me if I am only a stranger to him?"

"Jin, the fact that he kissed you means he has feelings for you. Don't you think? Unless it's you who forced him to kiss you." 

"Why would I force him? I'm not yet that desperate!" I countered.

"Gosh Jin. So it means he's liking you again?" Hobi asked.

I looked at the window of the restaurant. Trying to absorb what happened that night. It was surreal. I am longing for his kiss and his touch. I never knew how much I needed those until he kissed me last night.

His lips tastes the same. I can still remember his kisses before. That euphoric feeling of being kissed and touched by him never left. I kept it deep inside my heart. And I'm glad that I was able to feel them again.

Four years, I waited for four damn years just to be kissed by him again. It still gives me the same exciting feeling.

It's been four years. Still, I am still in love with the father of my child. Even if he can't remember me, I still love him the same. Nothing changed. I think I love him more now more than before.

Gosh. I'm so in love with you Kim Taehyung.

I looked at Hobi. My tears fell again. I wonder when will I stop crying for him. It's so hard to take hold of him again. My hopes are already fading.

"Hobi, if he can't remember me again, if he won't be able to recognize me ever again. I think.. my last chance is to make him fall in love with me all over again."

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