FALLING SLOWLY

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"Now you're gone"

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"Now you're gone"

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The only thing keeping Spencer from losing his mind was his job. Filling out paperwork suddenly became fun and exciting, he found himself looking forward to it. His mind was able to focus on the work in front of him, distracting him from his cravings. But sometimes these cravings got too powerful and he had to give in.

Spencer knew that he needed help. He knew that he was losing himself each day he took more and more Dilaudid. He knew that the people around him, his friends, could sense that something inside of him was aching. His soul was breaking more and more each day, and it was obvious to the team. They just didn't know it went deeper than just being kidnapped and tortured. This frustrated Spencer.

Typically on a Friday night Spencer would catch a movie, not minding that he didn't have anyone to go with. He enjoyed being able to watch movies in other languages and movies that really made you think, he didn't have to explain what was happening to the person next to him. Each time he entered the theater he would wonder if Bella would ever go with him, but he would quickly push this thought to the back of his head. He would always tell himself that he was happy being alone.

Going home to an empty apartment each night was somewhat damaging to Spencer. He longed to have someone there he could simply have a conversation with. His mom wasn't much to talk to, she was constantly forgetting things or having panic attacks. If he could, he would call Bella and spend hours on the phone with her. He liked that they shared a mind.

He looked over at the only other desk that had someone sitting at it, Bella biting on a pen before scribbling a bunch of notes. Spencer had begun to notice lately that whenever he worked late, Bella would too, usually leaving after him or at the same time as him. On cases she would always follow him around, volunteering to partner with him or staying back in the police station with him. He didn't mind, he liked having her around. Her soul was warm.

"Do you plan on sleeping tonight?" Spencer asked, Bella quickly looking over and taking the pen out of her mouth. "It's almost midnight."

"Do YOU plan on sleeping tonight?" Bella smiled. "Don't act like I'm the only one who works until sunrise."

"Well, at least I do it with coffee in my system."

The blonde agent smiled and put her pen down, organizing her papers in a neat pile. She continued to glance over at Spencer, watching every move he made. For months now she had been watching him, noticing more and more signs of addiction. She wanted to be right before she would confront Spencer about it or tell the rest of the team, for they all seemed oblivious to what was happening despite Spencer's sudden rude and distant behavior.

She watched as Spencer grabbed his satchel, shoving books and papers inside of it. He turned off his computer and adjusted his glasses. Bella quickly realized that he was going home, so she grabbed her own bag and began to pack up as well. Spencer scrunched his eyebrows together and tilted his head, taking notice of this.

Ineffable - Spencer ReidWhere stories live. Discover now