Lucilfer (ChrolloxReader)

Chapter 21

*TW: MEMORIES OF SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL ASSAULT*

I felt my body freeze in place as I stared wide-eyed into Chrollo's intimidating gray gaze. Immediately, I didn't know whether to be afraid or angry. Phinks' Nen ability was enhanced strength—I'd been told as much—and I was sure he could break bones easily, without even blinking an eye. If he was genuinely trying to fight me, to prove some unsettled vendetta he'd come up with in his head, and I let him even lay a hand on me, I'd be shattered. At the same time, I was almost angry at Chrollo for putting me in this situation—he'd only been training me in offensive techniques for a little more than two weeks. I couldn't be strong enough to stand a real chance against Phinks.

Could I?

My heart rate increased and I tried to keep my breathing even as my thoughts kicked into overdrive, racing through any possible scenarios that might play out. Chrollo held my gaze, cold and confident. The rest of the Troupe was silent besides Phinks as he spoke up in response.

"What?" he gaped, indignant, and laughed mockingly, although his cockiness was still a bit shaken by Chrollo's threat. "Y-you can't be serious. If I fought her, I'd kill her."

My eyes stayed trained on the pale, expressionless face before me, thrown into shadow every time the candle flickered on the ledge beside us, and my mouth felt dry. Chrollo moved closer, his hand sliding around the back of my neck to my throat, his thumb tracing down its length slowly. I trembled in a conflicting mixture of emotions.

"I give you permission," he stated, speaking to Phinks but still staring intently at me. "In fact, that's an order."

My brows furrowed over my eyelids, which felt stuck open incredulously.

Why are you doing this?

Was he being cold to me? I was in shock almost, unable to process this shift in climate and attitude he held towards me. I wanted to scream no, to beg him to listen to me when I said I wasn't ready, that I couldn't do this. But there was something else in his honest gaze that made me rethink, reevaluate, reconsider—an innate sense of being sure, of being absolutely secure in his statement, brought me back down to the moment. Chrollo didn't take fighting lightly; he understood the dangers of going up against a stronger opponent unprepared. It's why he was waiting to find Hisoka and fight him—he needed another, more powerful Nen ability to add to his collection, and although he wasn't even sure where to look for it, he knew it was what he was lacking when it came to having the upper hand.

The element of surprise.

Then, it dawned on me—Chrollo had utter, complete faith in my instincts, my abilities. It wasn't even my fighting technique that I could see he was relying on; he was depending on the sheer comparison of my Nen to Phinks'. Straightforwardly, it would seem that Phinks' enhanced strength would be an instant win for him against anyone. However, if I played the game right, if I made smart, well-thought-out moves, I would be the victor, because my Nen worked silently—I could project it from a distance and slowly retract any enhanced strength or aura being dispersed in specific parts of his body, like his fists or his feet.

And I haven't used that on him yet. He only knows my ability can impair body movement, and he hadn't originally been trying to hurt me, so I think if I fought him now, in a serious and unforgiving setting, he might use full strength and overpower that.

But I knew in my mind that once my Nen was attached to something, whether or not it was being fought against and overcome, I could still retract energy. Part of Feeler was the ability to bond to emotional auric displays, so Phinks' irrationally hateful state would make that quite easy, and then any energetic output past that could be easily crushed before it touched me.