Persphyni : I am Destruction

46

It's funny how circumstances and experiences make people change. I know for a fact, you would have never seen me casually talking to a male before landing on the ground. Nonetheless sleeping peacefully on the male. Furthermore, you wouldn't find me trusting anyone— yet here we are. My hair being played with gently and body supported by another on the hard metal floor.

I guess at some point he maneuvered us around because I know for a fact my head was on his shoulder when I went to sleep, not on his leg. Nor did I have a jacket draped around my legs as my upper body was receiving plenty of heat from the human radiator.

You know what else, you certainly wouldn't have found me snuggling further into the male as the sound of slow, trickling rain lulled me back into sleep.

"Cute." I softly smiled at his whisper as I discreetly leaned into his hand further as he brushed my hair down my back. The hair he had taken out of its ponytail at some point during my slumber.

For several more minutes I stayed where I was, slowly going in and out of sleep as I found myself content and warm. Only did I begin to move when Bellamy began to speak over the walkie. The sound of rain slowly easing as thunder boomed in the distance.

"Mark, Peter. The storms on its way out, you still with me?" I slowly rotated to lay on my back as Bellamy spoke into the walkie he must have grabbed while I was out.

"Hey, Mark, come in. Do you read me?" It was quiet as Bellamy continued. My eyes opening as I watched him curiously from my comfortable position. "As soon as this rain clears we're out of this ditch and on our way." His hand stopped playing with my hair as I saw his eyes tearing up.

"Please tell me that you read me." I gently clasped my hand in his that had been playing with my hair. His eyes flicking down towards me as I gave his hand a quick comforting squeeze when silence followed.

He dropped the walkie on the seat as he brought a hand to his hair. I took this chance to sit up and pull him into a hug.

He leant his head on my shoulder this time as I curled my arms around his shoulders to bring him in. His arms wrapped around my waist as we sat there in silence. Our positioning physically uncomfortable, but I didn't care as I focused on providing him some comfort.

We had failed at saving them. We already knew this, but now, with the fact they aren't responding and the storm is beginning to let up, it's even more real. The whole situation soaking into our skin as we both settle into the embrace of the other.

We wouldn't be able to save everyone. Because this time, we had no control.

Because I had no control.

"Bellamy." We glanced sideways towards the walkie that sat on the dash as my fathers voice trickled through. "You did your best."

Best wasn't good enough. Not against nature, not against this.

Bellamy pulled away as he moved to get the walkie, his body dropping into the seat as he began to speak to my dad. His eyes on the windshield as I stared at him from the back.

"I failed. They're dead."

"It's not your fault."

"I can't protect anyone. I couldn't protect my sister," his voice spiked as I could see the tears forming in his eyes through the mirror, "it's my responsibility and I failed. My mom passed out, she was there, she was in my hands, she was so helpless." I was confused, having to assume he was talking about a memory. "And now what is she, is she even alive? What is she?" His voice broke out as it faded from a whisper.

"You didn't fail Bellamy. You did everything you could for her. You came to the ground off her. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved." I felt my breath catch in my throat as I instinctively placed a hand on my left hip. My fingers brushing air as I reached for my dagger that wasn't there. Just like the person who wasn't there.

The person who I couldn't save.

I wasn't ready as tears collected in my eyes, this emotion driving me insane as I fought back the memories of him. Of Lincoln. It felt like yesterday he was teaching me about the clans, but I know it's been much longer than days. Months have passed and now, now when I'm trapped in this damn vehicle, I find myself holding back the onslaught of tears.

I missed the rest of the conversation as I turned around and stood hunched over at the back of the Rover. My fist clenched as I leant against the metal.

This pain was hard. It wasn't just about Lincoln. It was everything, all at once. This hopelessness and sorrow just crashing on as I took several deep breaths to somehow calm my warring body. My mind attacking itself as my lungs raced to breath, my heart clenching painfully as my throat fought to let the pained cry escape.

I didn't have time for this, for any of it. But maybe that's exactly why it happened. Because I haven't had time to let the situation settle, and the moment I let my guard crash to the ground everything swells and crashes like a swirling storm.

And just like in Praimfaya, there was no escaping this.

Only hoping to delay the inevitable.

I'll return when this is over. I'll return and let it all go.

"Persphyni?"

With a final breath I unclenched my fist and turned around, a smirk crossing my features as the rain became silent.

"Time to dig out of this mud, I call driving." His worried look was pushed to the back of his eyes as he rolled them. His sigh echoing as he stood up and made his way to the back.

"If you splatter mud on me, I will get you back." He threatened as he prepared to walk outside and set up the hitch.

"Then you better start thinking of some revenge. I'm getting us out of here, and if your ass is in the way— whoops."

He scoffed as I moved around him to go sit in the driver seat, a playful grin on my face as I saw him grumble under his breath through my mirrors.

"Oye, less mumbling and more hitching." I slammed the driver side door shut quickly after shouting as I laughed loudly at his facial expression.

Think: annoyed, shocked, and someone trying not to laugh.

As long as that image didn't look constipated then we can assume we're all on the same boat.