Grim Echoes

Chapter 83 - Ander

Ander rubbed his eyes and yawned. He had considered attempting to sleep, but decided against it and preferred to work through the night. It dulled the ache in his chest when he viewed Maeve and Will sleeping together. He still could not comprehend why she slept with Will. Angry and wounded by him, yet she invited him to bed.

Ander spun his knife and attempted to focus on the mission, but his mind slowed by the minute. Resigned, he stopped. The residual effect from performing magic waned. He stood and stretched. Needed to run. He would function better with endorphins in his system. He put on his shorts and left; the sun had risen, but the heat had not set in yet. He stretched again and jogged.

Covered in sweat and exhausted, he jogged up the stairs, calmer and ready to sleep. Of course, there would not be time to slumber now. Perhaps they would stop for coffee. Quietly he opened the door and found Will still snored but Maeve was in a chair in her nightgown with red eyes. Dark circles lined her eyes. As he closed the door, she stood and stepped closer, but then stopped. Her long nightgown floated around her as she moved. Ander took a deep breath. Regardless of his disappointment or anger at her actions, he could not maintain any negative emotion towards her.

"Are you ok?"

She was concerned for him again. Ander held his breath, unable to speak. He nodded. Satisfied, she returned to the chair and sat.

"I went for a run," Ander told her on the way to his bag to retrieve clean clothes.

He entered the bathroom and glanced at her before he closed the door. The cold shower cooled and energized him. After, he checked his Fitbit, almost eight thirty. Perhaps an hour before Will would stir. Exiting the bathroom, he found Maeve still sat in the chair. He checked the mini fridge and found Will purchased more pedialyte during his travels last night. Ander took a bottle of water for himself and one for Maeve. He handed her the bottle on the way to his computer and sat to begin where he had left off.

"Were you up all night?"

He nodded, but continued to read. Ander sensed her near him, but forced himself not to look at her. He stared at the words in front of him. Her silky nightgown brushed against his forearm. He had not put on his flannel yet. The soft material made his skin tingle and yearn to touch her.

"I'm sorry. I know you're upset with me, I'm upset with me." her voice trembled.

He flicked his eyes to her and was immediately livid at himself for causing her pain. She blinked and averted her eyes. He stood and pulled her into his arms.

"You don't hate me?" she asked through tears.

"I could never hate you," his own voice tight with emotion.

She clung to him the way he had clung to her last night. "I meant those things I said to you Ander, you are wonderful. I just," she stopped again and cried against his chest.

"Stop, please. I did not mean to upset you."

She pulled away from him enough to look at him with wet cheeks. "No. This isn't your fault. It's mine,"

"I do not understand." he took her hand and led her to his bed. On the way, he listened to Will's breathing and estimated thirty minutes until Will woke. Ander continued to the farthest side of the bed, so their backs faced Will. He handed Maeve a tissue. "I feel responsible for your pain." His words caused her to cry again. Frustrated, he was unsure what to do, excellent at pretending to understand humans, but the more extreme emotions befuddled him.

She wiped her tears and nose. "I swear it's not you. When I woke up, and you weren't here, I thought... well I don't know what I thought but the idea of you not being around anymore," her voice broke and she swallowed hard.

The idea of him not being a part of her life caused her pain. Enough pain for tears? He felt the pulse in his throat. No one had ever been so attached to him. "You assumed I left?"

"I don't know? Maybe? I know the last eight days were pretty standard for you both, but for me, it's been a lot. I've made you angry more than once and Will is horrible to you most of the time. I mean it isn't like you but,"

"No. I would never leave Will or you," Maeve knew them, or at least their souls, but she did not yet fully grasp his relationship with his cousin. If she had, she would never have entertained the theory.

"Ok." she looked at their hands.

"You would truly be this upset if I left?"

"Of course I would. Ander I," Maeve paused and gazed at him with her dark eyes the way she had when they were alone at Mason's.

Ander's heart thundered in his chest. He desired to have her lips against his.

"I care about you both, it's just this is hard. I've never had two people I've cared about so much about at the same time," she stumbled over her words. "I couldn't sleep. I knew you were angry at me. I didn't explain my actions."

"You do not owe me explanations. Although I appreciate if you wanted to tell me," Ander wanted to demand her reasoning but had no claim to her and thus she owed him nothing. He started at the wall and tried to keep his face the impassive mask Will did.

"Will is, he's really struggling with things right now. It's worse than I thought, and I just wanted to help him calm down."

"How do you mean?" he turned his gaze back to her. Will always struggled with his rage. Far more than she understood. Although the last few days he had been more aggressive than usual, he was not at his worst. Only Ander had seen that. The memories sealed in his mind forever.

"He can't handle having me around. It bothers him. I guess I bother him, but I also make him feel better in a way. It's all so screwed up." she looked down at their hands again and took a shaky breath.

"He was more of a bastard than usual last night."

"You were angry at me, so I think you do want me to explain why I slept with him," Maeve looked at him through her hair.

Without meaning to, he moved one of his hands and gently brushed the hair out of her face. She smiled shyly at him.

"I suppose, I do," he relented.

She stared at him for a heartbeat before she sat upright again. "The sleeping arrangements are important and can't change. You both need them for different reasons. I don't know why it works or how it works and I can't talk about it with Will because he'll start calling me names or get even more paranoid than he already is. You both function better and I... need to be near you both. I don't understand that part either, but I don't feel safe if I'm not with one of you. Last night was hard because Will had been so obnoxious and you'd been so amazing. I didn't really want to be near him but I had to because it was his night." the words tumbled out quick and sure until she brought up last night.

She turned to Will, sleeping peacefully. "And it worked. Every time I think I'm wrong or I question my intuition, it keeps showing me I'm right. It needs to be this way. Do you think I'm crazy?" Maeve looked at him expectantly.

Ander did not believe he was qualified to make that judgment. Considering his own issues with distinguishing reality from his hallucinations, he could not condemn her. "No. I do not know that I agree but I can understand why you came to that conclusion."

"Thank you." she breathed a sigh of relief. She leaned toward him, but then stopped just as her head almost touched his shoulder. She pulled back. "Are you still angry at me?"

He shook his head because truthfully, he was not. She leaned into him. He wrapped his arm around her, and peace crept over him. They sat together until Will stirred. Ander provided Will with his pedialyte and water. Will grumbled, but did what Ander instructed, including a cold shower. But not without complaint. As usual, Will's mood did not improve until after his ten minute pampering of his teeth.