WRONG TIMING || kunimi a.

ch. 14

————— kunimi's pov —————

".....akira?"

my breath hitched in my throat as i saw the person i've longed to see for the past two years standing in front of me.

"shiho...?"

without thinking, i stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, a strangled sob escaping my throat. "shiho... you're really back. i missed you so much."

but shiho just pulled away from the hug.

to be honest, yeah, it hurt. she stared at me, bewildered, and i could see tears forming in her eyes.

"missed me? MISSED ME? no. NO! you do NOT get to say you missed me," she spoke, her voice breaking. "after the shit you said to me before i left? no. you don't get to say you missed me."

my heart dropped. right. the things i had said to her. "shiho, listen, please. i was wrong-"
"DAMN RIGHT YOU WERE!"
i flinched, not used to her yelling. she never yelled at me.

"you know what i did during those two years i was away? i moved on. i recovered. i'm finally happy, and my life is finally getting better. but then YOU step back in and everything comes crashing down."

"my life and my happiness i spent the last two years rebuilding. the happiness that you destroyed. you do not get to come in here and HUG ME and tell me you missed me."

she was trembling. i could see her clenching her fists, trying so hard not to cry in front of me. "i wish i could hug her and apologise" was my only thought.

"i wish she didn't hate me." "i wish i realised my feelings sooner." "i wish i never said those things." "i wish she still loved me."

"i wish i never fucked up."

it was a mere wish, and nothing more. i knew that. i didn't expect anything more or less than this. i expected her to have moved on after the last time i saw her.

i mean, it's already been two years. 

but oh god, a small part of me wished, hoped, prayed that she was still in love with me. that i would apologise, and she would forgive me, and i would tell her i've loved her all these years.

she was always exceptionally kind to me, never getting mad at me. even if she did, she'd always find it in herself to forgive me. i know i didn't deserve it.

i know that i was a selfish prick and that i took her for granted. i know i fucked up our friendship and everything else that could've been more.

but even so, it hurt.

it hurt so much to see the girl i loved, who once loved me back, trying not to break down in front of me.

"don't talk to me."

this time her words came out barely a whisper, even i barely catching it. her tears had already spilled out, and she was furiously wiping them away, obviously not wanting me to see her in such a broken state.

not after i was the one that caused it.

she pushed past me and left the gym, and for a second i think i should go after her. hug her tight and take her hits, take her yelling, and apologise until she listens to me.

but i know i shouldn't. shiho doesn't want to talk to me right now, let alone see me. my own eyes prick with tears as i push them down and drop my bag on the bleachers before joining the rest of the team on the courts.

"kunimiiiiii! took you long enough! you shouldn't be late to first day introductions. you got invited by the coach himself, after all. you want to make a good impression, hm?" oikawa hummed.

(a/n: i saw somewhere that apparently a lot of the guys from kitagawa got invited to aoba johsai to play volleyball so... i don't really know tho?)

i just nodded, not in the mood to converse with oikawa. i could see kindaichi eyeing me from beside me but chose to ignore it, moving away when he tried to talk to me.

i didn't want to talk about shiho right now.

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————— 3rd person pov —————

shiho stiffly walked toward her classroom, knowing it would be empty as there was still fifteen minutes of lunch left.

as soon as she shut the door, she slid down to the floor and sobbed. she knew she was going to run into him eventually, but that wasn't how she wanted it to go.

she didn't want him to hug her. she didn't want him to tell her he missed her.

after two years of trying to forget him and push down her feelings, she still wasn't completely over the boy. he was her first love, after all.

when he hugged her, she almost hugged him back. she knew she shouldn't have, but a part of her just couldn't help but want to hold him and not let go.

at first, she considered forgiving him. she considered telling him that yes, he was in the wrong, but she was willing to forgive him.

but she was scared.

she was scared that she'd open up to him once again, fall in love with him once again, and get hurt once again.

she didn't want to be hurt. not again. not by the person she loved.

even so, shiho desperately wished to be able to talk to kunimi again. to watch stupid disney movies with him again. to go to the mall again. to go to volleyball tournaments and cheer for him again.

to love him again.

she knew it was selfish. she knew that she shouldn't, and that there was a big, fat chance she would just get hurt again.

she wiped her tears and hugged her knees to her chest, burying her head in her arms. she really didn't want to let it affect her this much.

she sighed and stood up, brushing off her uniform and adjusting her blazer. she would just have to deal with it, and work on completely getting over kunimi.

she could do that much, right?

she could do it.

«⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅»