Double Standards (Part 1)

The Choice

London

Those last words mumbled by Laney crushed me like a thousand bricks. My worst fears coming true. She couldn't love or accept this side of me. I was hurting like I've never hurt before. She remained passed out, so I carried her in and cleaned her up. Laying her down on the bed, I called for our personal Doctor to look her over. He gave her a clean bill and said she would be sore from the beating that bastard gave her, but should heal fine. "She's probably had a shock from tonight's events. I will leave some pain meds, as well as something to help her sleep if she needs it" The Doctor said. And so the cycle begins. The pumping of medications down women's throat that's associated with us. I want have it. I don't want her popping pills just so she'll  be numb to my lifestyle. I watched her sleep for a bit until my eyes grew heavy and I stretched out beside her.

It was close to lunch the following day when Laney started to stir. The moment it all came back to her Laney bolted up in bed with a gasp. "Good morning"I said. She turned her face to me and the tears started coming. I started walking toward her to explain. "Laney I", but I stopped when I saw how she scooted close to the headboard in fear. It ripped my heart out. "Laney, I would never hurt you in any way". In a very inaudible voice she said "I want to go home".
"No" The tears came harder as she started to shake. "I, I need the bathroom". Nodding my head, she jumped up and ran. I could hear her dry heaving. Walking in I went to rub her back but she let out a shriek. Stepping back, as calmly as I could, I told her to get a bath and I'd be waiting in the kitchen with lunch. "Your clothes is in the closest beside mine."

Thirty minutes later she slowly approached the kitchen and took a seat across from me. "Look at me Laney". She brought her red rimmed eye's to mine. I figured if I let her ask the questions it may help more. "Ask me anything Laney".
"Are you going to kill me?" I almost laughed but now wasn't the time. "No, why would I"
"I don't know. Who are you?"
"I'm London Harper"
"No" she said slightly irritated. "No, the person I seen last night was not London Harper".
"Yes, Laney it was. Just a different side of me. I'm the Italian mafia king, the Boss" She jumped up from the chair and went to the living room curling up into the cornor, bringing  her knees to her chest. Following, I spoke. "Laney this is the reason I left you in Alabama. I didn't want to drag you into my lifestyle. But you make me happy. The London you seen yesterday while we was out, Laney that's the real me. I can be that person with you. I'd never harm you or let harm come to you. I'll keep my business separate from us. I wanted to tell you so many times". She cut me off "Did you kill Dillon?" "No Laney, I didn't".
"How can I believe you"?
"If it's that important, I'll let you give him a call in a few days".
"My phone, where's my phone".
"I have it put away. I'll return it in a few day's. I have to know your not going to call out to anyone. It's very important we aren't found out" Laney stared motionless "The black bag," she muttered. "That's why you never wanted me to bring it up"
"Yes"
"OMG, I robbed you...you could have killed me" In spite of myself I laughed, she looked so cute. "But did you die?"
"I fucking robbed the Mafia king" "Yes, you did and it almost sounds like your bragging about it" I could've swore a hint of a smile touched her lips. That's it, smile for me babydoll, but it quickly disappeared. "Why can't I leave?"
"We have alot to discuss Laney. I have to be sure you won't talk, besides I enjoy your company"
"Have you killed people?"
"Laney, I don't think we should discuss that."
"Have you killed?" She said between gritted teeth. Looking her in the eye, I said "Yes". I watched as horror came over her face and she croaked out "why?"
"I live in a different world. My world isn't all cupcakes and rainbows".

I laid my soul bare. I explained the dealings we was involved in and such. I also decided to admit my killing of Tink. Gasping she mumbled "They said it was a suicide"
"No Laney, he wasn't going to threaten you nor scare you" Laney placed her hands over her ears and started rocking to and fro. "I don't won't to hear anymore" she said through tears. I nodded and left her with these words "you must believe me when I say I'd never hurt you. I'd lay down my life for you. I've chosen you. I need you by my side. You bring out the best in me and I can't loose you". Her only reply was quiet sobs.