James Potter: All In My Head

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In my dreams he was always there, James Potter, the boy I fell for in my first year

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In my dreams he was always there, James Potter, the boy I fell for in my first year. Sometimes I liked to picture how everything would be if he felt them same towards me.

But I knew... it was all in my head.

It wasn't real even if I wanted it to be, even if I hoped and wished my hardest, he would always love her. Lilly, my best friend she's the only one who knows how I feel towards James.

It hurts, knowing he chose her over me, she hates his bloody guts. Yet he stays so persistent to have her and call her his 'girlfriend.' While I'm stuck in the deeps and the darks of the friend zone.

"YN, come on we're gonna be late!" Lilly's voice was urgent as I sprung up and searched for my robes.

"Lilly tomorrow let's go to Hogsmead, you know I love a good butter beer." I heard a faint, 'definitely' from the bathroom.

When we were done we headed downstairs to the common room. "Lillyflower, N/N good morning, Lillyflower can we talk."

Lilly sent me a sympathetic look, I nodded, "I have to go kill Sirius anyways. See you both in Charms." I waved the pair goodbye, sending Lilly a fake smile as reassurance.

As soon as I exited the portrait door, I ran towards the Astronomy Tower. When I got there, I swung my legs over the side as I sat there for a few minutes before I began to cry.

Over how he didn't feel the same.
Over how he loved Lilly.
Over how it was all in my head.

Time passed by before I realized I had skipped all my classes for the day. And it was nearly past curfew. Sighing I realized I had a weeks worth of detention.

Gathering my things I dashed out of the Tower and to the common room. I swung the portrait door opens as Lilly tackled me into a tight hug. The four Marauders had all sat on the coach worried expressions on their faces.

"Where the bloody hell were you? You scared me! How dare you be out past curfew? Are you alright? Did I do something? Do I have to kill those blasted Slytherins? Well except Severus he would have saved you from their wrath." Lill asked me in worry.

"I was in the Astronomy Tower since the morning. I lost track of time, it's beautiful up there, it's just so time consuming. I'm sorry I worried you all." I apologized as they stared at me slightly in anger and shock.

"You had me worry all day because you lost TRACK OF TIME!" Lilly yelled, she began chasing me around the common room.

I screamed, "I said I'm SORRY!"

Remus caught me as I tripped, I landed on his lap, "Thank you Remie." I kissed his cheek playfully.

James pulled me up as he stared daggers at Remus, "Lilly let's go to sleep." I suggest as I begin to yawn.

She nodded and yawned as we bid goodbyes to the boys. We exploded in a fit of giggles as Lilly closed the door.

"What did James want to talk about earlier?" I asked Lilly as I sat on my bed.

"Nothing important... just homework." I looked at her skeptically at the tone of her voice.

I shrugged to myself before replying, "Alright, Goodnight Lilly."

"Night N/N." She whispered before she snores softly as she fell asleep.

Next Morning

I woke up to no sign of Lilly, I sighed and got dressed before heading to the Hogsmead carriages

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I woke up to no sign of Lilly, I sighed and got dressed before heading to the Hogsmead carriages. Most likely she couldn't wake me up so she left with Marlene or Alice.

When I reached Hogsmead, I found Remus and we walked around together. We went to all the shops and got things for the boys and Lilly. Then I saw it, there they were Lilly and James sat in The Three Broomsticks.

Together... Laughing

Both of them looked towards the window and saw me. They both froze as I turned and pushed past Remus, running to the carriages. Tears streaming down my face the whole carriage ride.

How could they? Well Lilly? She knew of my feelings. How could she do this to me and not tell me? She openly lied to me last night!

Jumping off the carriage, I ran straight into the castle and to my dorm. I closed the curtains around my bed and laid flat on my bed. A sound of the door opening and closing was heard.

Then my curtains were pulled opened, my bed dipped down. "YN come on talk to me." Lilly shook my side.

"It's not what it looked like, I swear, I'm sorry. James likes you, yesterday when he asked to talk he confessed his feelings for you. Now get up and talk to him, he's waiting downstairs."

I sighed finally looking up, "Fine I'll talk to him, and I forgive you." Lilly gave me a hug as I walked downstairs to the Common Room. Only James sat on the coach waiting.

He looked up at the sound of my footsteps, immediately he came over to me. James scanned my face, tear stains and red eyes. "I'm sorry Love, I-I should have told you before."

James leaned his head on mine as he stared into my eyes, he moved hair from my face. "I wanted to say this since first year, but I-I love you since the day I saw the prat Lucius push you to the ground and then you got up, punched him in the face."

I smiled at him, "Why didn't you tell me you git?!" I hit his shoulder.

James smiled at me, "Well your confidence scared me and you were-are bloody beautiful."

I stood on my tippy toes and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, "And here I thought it was all in my head."

James smiled at me, "How about you kiss my lips? Yeah?"

"Nah, you have to work for it Potter." I smile walking towards the stairs.

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