Let it Go

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Prompt:
You've always been afraid to let go when you break in her arms
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Another day of college has started. Days started to feel heavier each day, longer, tougher, harder to handle. I couldn't bare it anymore. I was crying alone at night in the shower so my tears would fade away the second they dropped. To be silent. I hated my studies but I couldn't say to my parents that I wanted to stop. They wanted me to study after high school but that's not what I deeply wanted... I felt imprisoned. But I couldn't show this. Not to them, to my friends, to the world and to her...

At the beginning of the year, I was moving to my room on the campus when I met her. My roommate. While I was putting my books on my shelf, a knock on the door caught my attention. She was there, standing with a box in her hands, hair in a messy bun, glasses on her nose, smiling.
-Hi! You must be y/n? I guess!
-Yes I am.
-I'm Alycia, your roommate! Nice to meet you! I wish I could shake your hand but they're busy...
-Oh hold on... There we go!
I so took the box to put it on the ground. The then did what she said. Her hand meet mine, dry from holding the box yet incredibly soft. She was smiling all the time...

And today she remains the same. Smiling all day long, laughing, enjoying life, youth. While on the other hand, I was slowly fading. She was the only one to keep me awake, wanting to stay here.

The shower felt good. The water sliding on my skin, warming it but still, the salt of my tears were joining the water falling from above. I couldn't handle it. I was slowly sitting in the shower, not being able to fight anymore. I felt weak, exhausted. But I couldn't show. Yet, she heard me. A knock on the door took my thoughts away.
-y/n are you okay?
It took me a second to think. Usually I would say yes but now I was hesitant. Wanting to say no so she could hold me, wrap herself around me, protect me.
-It's fine Alycia you can go back to your book.
I knew her habits so well.
-Alright then...
Few minutes after, I came back to the room, pretending to be okay. I was tidying my clothes and books when I felt her behind me. I stopped and turn around. She was so close that it took me by surprise.
-You scared me!
I still managed to let a giggle out. I was about to go back to my cleaning when she held my arm soflty.
-Please... Look at me...
I did so, smiling but not for a long time when I saw her concerned face, almost glassy eyes. She brought her hand to my cheek, brushing away the mascara.
-Oh I forgot to take it off under the shower!
-Please... Stop hiding your sadness... Not from me... It didn't melt with the water y/n... But with tears...
My face dropped. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She put gently another hand, cupping my cheeks, rubbing them with her thumbs.
-Stop hiding... Please... Don't conceal... Don't pretend it's not real... Don't believe it's weaknesses...
Her glassy eyes turned red, tears falling as well.
-I... I'm not...
-Yes you are... Stop doing this... To yourself, you're tearing you down, killing you... I want to see the old you back! The one who listened to music loudly to dance, the one who smiled genuinely, the one who lived! I want to see this person back... The one I fell for...
My eyes were puffy, holding the tears back but they couldn't anymore. The tears fell. Not to show how bad I felt but this time to show how relieved I was.
- I... I... I'm not happy here... Not anymore, it kills me Alycia I...
But then her last words knocked me out "the one I fell for". My eyes narrowed and dared to look in hers.
-Hold on... You what?
I was confused. All these emotions starting the push the door to go out. I wasn't sure of the meaning of these words even if deep inside I knew. At this moment, she crashed her lips on mines. I couldn't kiss back. I was too shook. She pulled away quickly, rambling how sorry she was but it was my time to cut her off. I kissed her back, meeting her lips again. The pressure almost unbearable. I felt relieved now. Calmed down. All these feelings going away, passing the door, leaving the room empty. My muscles relaxed in her embrace. It felt weird yet so right. I didn't know she felt this way and so did I. I was so taken away by my thoughts that it darkened my heart as my eyes. Now I see all the attention she was showing me, all the love, all the little moment she was trying to tell me. I finally see them now.

As we pulled away, our eyes locked, not saying a word. I felt myself fall in her arms. She sat on my bed, taking me with her, laying me down, putting the cover on my body, holding me, so tight. I felt so weak showing her this side of me but now I know that she is the right person to show, to get away, to let it go.

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Hello beautiful people!
How are you all?
See? I update as I told you haha I'm motivated to keep the pace!

At first I didn't want to write this. I wanted to do something cozy, autumn vibes, sweaters, coffees, a library and two girls but I realized that it would make a great little book... Would you like to see that?

Love you all, thanks for your love! Take care Xx ❤️✨

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