Desire - ATEEZ Mingi

30

Yeeun's POV

Twenty seconds remained on the game clock and our team was up 27 to 10. I looked down at Mingi on the sidelines as he talked and laughed with his friends. He looked happy, making me wish that I could've been him at the moment.

Resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, I sighed.

Ever since my talk with Soyeon, I've been so lost and confused. I didn't know what to think or who to trust; Mingi, my boyfriend for nearly a year, whom I love? Or Soyeon, the sweet girl that's been in my shoes before and understands what I've been through?

As if he could feel my eyes on him, Mingi looked up into the stands and smiled at me. I forced myself to fake a smile in return. Then I adverted my eyes to the scoreboard.

3...2...1...0...

The crowd erupted in an explosion of cheering as the football team started running around, leaping in the air and hollering as they celebrated their victory.

I stood up and began to make my way down the bleachers as soon as the crowd calmed down. I was hoping to get out of there before Mingi could catch me. I was in no mood to talk to him tonight. I had too much on my mind.

However, my hopes were crushed when I felt a gentle grip on my arm, turning me around. Mingi fixed his gaze on me, looking puzzled. "Hey, where are you going?" He asked. He didn't seem upset, which I was grateful for. The last thing I needed was for him to get mad at me for trying to ditch him.

Quickly, I came up with a lie. "I'm really tired and I just want to go home," I fibbed, hoping that I was convincing enough. Mingi's eyebrows creased. "Are you okay? You've been tired almost all week." He pointed out. I wanted to cringe, remembering my everyday excuse for not being myself over the past week.

"Yeah. It's just that I've had a lot of homework to catch up on from being gone last week. It's been stressing me out." I lied again. Over the course of the past year, I've learned how to come up with convincing lies rather quickly. I didn't like lying so much, but sometimes, it was a matter of safety.

"Aww, my poor baby,"Mingi cooed, pulling me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I shuddered, feeling so small compared to him. And him being in his football uniform wasn't helping. It made him seem twice as big as his actual size.

And thanks to Soyeon, I've found myself becoming fearful of Mingi again.

"Baby?" he spoke, pulling back a little so that he could look at me. Concern filled his eyes. "Is there something else going on that you're not telling me?" He asked and I froze in place, terrified.

"N-no, why?"!I stuttered, wanting to slap myself for sounding so nervous. He tilted his head to the side, moving his gloved hand up to my face, running his thumb over my skin gently.

"Yeeun, you're trembling,"!he said, skimming his soft eyes over me. Immediately, I looked down at my hands. Sure enough, they were shaking.

Alarmed, I ripped myself away from Mingi's arms. And for some reason, Soyeon's words echoed through my head.

"He may be saying that he won't ever hurt you again, but it's a lie."

"Baby?" Mingi said, taking a step towards me. I gave him a single, horrified look before turning on my heel and hurrying away.

But Mingi, being the athlete that he was, was quick to react and was right on my tail, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop.

"Yeeun, what is going on with you?" He asked, sounding bewildered. I tried to fight his grip but it was no use. "Let me go." I begged, ignoring his question. He shook his head, stepping closer to me and strengthening his grip.

"Hey," he said, his tone soft and gentle. "Talk to me, baby. What happened? Did I do something wrong?"

I released a sigh, closing my eyes and trying to calm down.

"I...I just--" I stuttered. "I just need some time to think." Mingi frowned. "Are you okay?" He asked. I couldn't help but notice how patient and gentle he was being with me right now. Before, if I was acting out like this, he would've gotten mad.

I nodded. "I-I'm okay. I just need some time alone to figure some things out," I told him. He nodded understandingly, but I knew he was still utterly confused at my strange behavior.

"Alright, baby," he said. "We can talk tomorrow."

Then he gently pulled me into him and kissed my lips. It was a short kiss, but it was sweet and tender, so unlike the way he used to kiss me.

Now, I was more confused than ever.

"I love you," he whispered against my lips before I pulled away. I managed a half smile. "I love you too." I replied.

Lying in bed that night, my mind was racing. I felt so helplessly lost and confused with all of the things running through my mind at once.

"I promise, I'm never gonna hurt you again." Mingi said.

"it's a lie." Soyeon said.

"I'm so, so sorry." Mingi said.

"Yeeun, you can't believe him." Soyeon said.

"I want to be a better man and a better boyfriend." Mingi said.

"Mingi's never going to change." Soyeon said.

"I need you, baby." Mingi said.

"I've been in your shoes before, Yeeun." Soyeon said.

"I love you so, so much." Mingi said.

"Trust me, not Mingi." Soyeon said.

I felt like I was going crazy.

Sitting up, I tugged at the roots of my hair frustratedly.

I didn't know who to put my faith in. If Soyeon was right and Mingi really wasn't going to change, then I wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.

But the thing is, I love Mingi so much. The last thing I wanted to see was him handcuffed in the back of a cop car. Besides, he could truly be trying to keep his promise.

But once again, Soyeon's words of wisdom echoed through my mind; "He may be saying that he won't ever hurt you again, but it's a lie."

I groaned out of exhaustion, confusion, and most of all, frustration.

What am I supposed to do?