Burning Desire

~Chapter Thirty Five~

Natalie and I were back at the hotel. Natalie was incredibly tired, when she drinks she comes quite tired quickly.

"Isabelle you need to sleep tonight" Natalie said, while she was in the bathroom removing her makeup.

"But I'm awake" I stated. "And I have no emotions and no feelings right now. I want this to last just a little longer"

"You need to sleep. You're traveling again soon" she reminded me.

"Eh" I shrugged. "I'll get to that eventually"

"You can't stay awake all night," she said, coming out of the bathroom.

"I won't stay awake all night," I informed her. "I just want to enjoy this feeling and have fun"

"How are you planning on having fun in the middle of the night?" she questioned, picking up her pyjamas from the bed and walking back over to the bathroom.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Please don't do anything stupid" she said.

"Me, stupid? Never" I said sarcastically.

"You may not be stupid when you're sober, but when you're in this state, you're a mess" she laughed.

"A funny mess" I nodded, proud of my statement.

"You need sleep," she laughed, shaking her head.

"The funniest person in the world does not need sleep, Natalie" I smiled. "The world is a cool place at night time, I don't know why we aren't out there more"

Natalie laughed and came out of the bathroom, chucking her dress into the dirty pile of clothes she had on the floor.

"You know" I sat up straight and cleared my throat. "Lando called me beautiful"

Natalie looked up at me. "Did he now?"

"Yes" I nodded. "And then my heart did this weird thing. I don't know what it was, but it was cool"

"Oh sweetie," she said sympathetically.

"What?" I questioned.

"Your heart did a thing?" she asked.

"Yep" I said, popping the P.

Natalie gave me a small smile and then climbed into the bed.

"You know, sometimes I wish that I was dating him" I looked at her. "Like that could've been me in his arms tonight"

"He has Ava Isabelle..." Natalie said.

"I know," I stated. "I know he does. And I love Ava, she's been there for me recently and she's a great friend. So I need to move on in life. I can't hurt her feelings"

"More importantly, you can't hurt yourself," Natalie said softly.

"Hurt myself?"

"The closer you get to him again, the more it's going to wear you down. You'll become more attached to him and it'll be harder to move away from that situation" she said.

"So I need to distance myself now?" I questioned.

"You guys have started becoming quite close again" Natalie informed me. "If this keeps going, it could escalate further and hurt you, hurt Ava and even hurt Lando"

"Why would it hurt them? It's not like Lando has feelings for me or anything" I shrugged.

"What was the first thing Lando did when he saw you tonight?" she asked.