The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 28 - Unraveling the mess

CHAPTER 28 - UNRAVELING THE MESS

I was beside Eric's car, waiting for him to come out, so that, as agreed, we could head to the café and do a little brainstorming about the fairy tale.

Uncontrollably, my fingers grazed my lips, those same lips Kyle kissed just a few hours ago ... I didn't need to look at myself in the mirror, I knew I was smiling like an idiot, reliving in my mind every single second of it.

That I moaned another name doesn't mean anything. Just that I was confused because I ended up thinking about my very first kiss, the one Eric gave me just last week.

But I'm going out with Kyle tonight and I couldn't be happier about it. Really. It's my dream come true after all, isn't it? For years I've wanted this chance and now I have it. Finally.

"What do you want?" A harsh voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up to see a menacing Eric staring down at me. Cold drops of sweat ran down my spine as my mind uncontrollably warned me that nobody was left on the school's property and we were absolutely alone and he looked so mad for who knows what reason and ...

"I asked you a question." He remarked.

Gulping down my saliva, I replied, well, more like stammered: "I-I ... w-we n-need to ... w-work on ... on the project ..."

His icy blue eyes were digging a hole in my head and I felt uncomfortable and ... well, kind of felt like running away as well, but I stood my ground.

I don't understand him. I honestly don't understand him. One moment he's almost gentle, the other he barks against me so violently that I feel like cowering in fear.

What the heck is wrong with him? Just last week he kissed me. Then disappeared. Then saved me from a possible adduction (or worse). Then he disappears again. Now he's the usual jackass. I really don't understand him and it ... saddens me, because right when I think I can talk to him normally, without stammering, right when I think we might be somewhat friends, then he acts like that and my old fears show up again and the only impulse I have is to flee.

Sadly, my heart dropped when he spat: "I have better things to do than waste my time with you, nerd."

Goes to prove my point. We've never been anything to each other. The kiss meant nothing. Our peaceful afternoons as he helped me with Math meant nothing. His being gentle meant nothing. Nothing. I mean nothing to him. I never have. And he says he cares ... well, if he cared, he'd know it hurts to feel like he hates me. I know it shouldn't, but it does, because I thought we could build a real friendship at least, despite everything, but then he acts like that and is so mean ...

Guess I couldn't expect else from him, and yet, uncontrollably, my eyes filled with tears, which is odd, because I don't cry for so little, but I was barely able to keep them as I spoke: "O-ok, I ... then ... see you on Monday." I didn't give him time to reply, just moved away from him, that thought I'd been harping on when I got to be closer to him slowly fading, that thought about that lovely little boy who'd smiled so sweetly at me back in fourth grade still being somewhere deep down this bad boy, but I guess I was wrong. Just because he was kind for a while, doesn't mean he always is.

I sighed, walking on my way home, but I'd made just some steps that I was yanked back, a strong hand gripping my arm. When I turned around, tears in my eyes, Eric looked ... sorry. I glanced at his hand on my arm and, like he'd just realized that too, he let me go then inhaled deeply.

"I ... didn't mean to be so rude ..." He commented, grazing the back of his neck.

I simply nodded, not really knowing what to say. "It's ok. I get it." I agreed, moving away, but he grabbed my hand, making me freeze in my spot, especially as he, for a moment, just for a moment, squeezed it before releasing it.