The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 62 - A withering rose

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CHAPTER 62 - A WITHERING ROSE

ERIC'S POV

I'd been pleasantly laughing and chatting with Noah for a couple of hours at least, when Natalie came back. She'd willingly left us alone to give us some time together, which turned out to be precious, because only in a few hours I was able to see what a smart and perceptive kid my son is. Just like his mother.

He told me stories of different kinds, but also asked a lot of questions that, I'll admit, weren't always that easy to dodge, but all in all, we had fun. It felt refreshing to forget about my troubles for a while and just enjoy my son's giggles and smiles.

Already after a few hours I was able to come to the conclusion that while physically he's my exact copy, as for character, he's all his mother, which is great, because it only shows that he's practically the perfect mix of us, the amazing outcome of our love and I couldn't be more glad. His eyes might be the same as mine, but they shine with that peculiar light his mother always carried ... before the jackass that I am came into her life and fucked it up, that is.

Now, Natalie didn't even speak to me, just told Noah it was late and we both needed to rest.

"I will see you tomorrow?" Noah asked me, clearly hopeful. I smiled, my heart regaining a bit of light after all these years of darkness and just at my son giving me such a hopeful and content look, as if he was really happy to spend time with me. Even without knowing who I really am, of course.

Though I think I had the very same look when I started hanging out with my own dad. I mean, I remember feeling like a child all over again when I had the chance to spend time with him. Though for Noah it's certainly different, after all, he doesn't know who I really am.

He did ask how did I meet his mother and there, I told the truth: that we went to school together, but then it became a bit harder to lie so bluntly at the kid's face while claiming that his mother and I were and always had been simply friends.

He told me she'd had a "special friend" at first, he kind of remembered that guy that was always so kind with him and took him to the park, at fairs, always bought him gifts and so, and he was often at home with them, even while not living in their same apartment Noah did see him always around ... Chase, of course.

I don't understand why didn't Natalie just present him as her boyfriend. I can imagine the guy might have not been too glad to acknowledge Noah as his, so he couldn't pose as the kid's father, but why pretend to be just a friend, especially considering the kid, as he admitted, sometimes caught them kissing and cuddling? Sure, being just 1-2 years old, the child couldn't understand why was the guy his mother's boyfriend but not his father, and that might be a reason for their not being so open about it, but still.

Noah also told me that Chase left two years ago, because of a job he got in San Francisco, but for some time he'd still talk to the kid, only to slowly cut off the bond once for all. I asked if he was sad about it, and Noah admitted that yes, he was, but not too much, after all, he said, he still had "uncle Jake" always calling him and sending him gifts, never letting him lack of anything, which reminded me of my own uncle being such an amazing father figure for me till he could.

I miss him. I miss uncle Sam and there hasn't been a day I have quit reminding myself that it was my fault if he was killed, but, as my boss told me, blaming myself won't bring my uncle back. I've seen him in that sort of dream I had before waking up at least. I saw he was fine, he looked like the exact same as he was. That's a little bit of consolation, I guess.