The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 56 - I Will Always Love You

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CHAPTER 56 - I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

ERIC'S POV

I would have punched the wall, shot at something, even destroyed the room ... hadn't my princess been so peacefully sleeping in that same bed I just had to leave.

Last night, well, more like a few hours ago, I should have pulled back, I should have listened to Heather and leave, but ... I didn't. And when after all those words Natalie kissed me one last time, my control just flew out of the window and all I could think of was that I needed more, more and more of her ... that's why I led her to the hotel room Heather and I shared and ... well, you know ... it felt like being reborn again after three years. Not that I haven't been doing it since three years, but ... with Natalie it's always different. I guess it's because while with other girls it's just sex, with her it's ... well, love.

Passing a hand over my face, I gathered the rest of my clothes and quickly got dressed. I hate doing this with her. It's a damn routine for me, it has been since years, but her ... I should be on bed with her, cuddling her, not running away while she's sleeping, like the worst criminal. Well, technically I am a criminal.

I'd like to think I'll be able to quit this damn job soon, but let's face it, with all I've done and with all the enemies I've made and the things I know, the strings I've attached ... the only way I'll be able to quit is in a coffin. Just like so many other people. Just like my former partner.

Once ready, I glanced at her one last time. She looked so peaceful and so gorgeous ... that damn man that was with her yesterday is so incredibly lucky and he doesn't even know it. I hope for his own good that he treats her well, because otherwise ... my God, she's so incredible, so special, so ... everything!

Three years and she is still breathtaking. Her smile can still make my heart race, her eyes still capture me, her lips intoxicate me, her curves drive me insane ... and her voice ... so sweet ... Damn ...

I watched her sleep peacefully, hugging the pillow, possibly convinced it was me, the white sheets covering her nudity. At least we had one last time together. At least that.

But this was a farewell. A definite and unmerciful farewell. I gotta even quit tracking her and everything. Both because it's not good for my own heart and because I guess that till I keep an eye on her, enemies will know I have a weak point and it's obvious that they'll seek her first of all.

They quit going after Kyle and my dad only when I cut contacts with them completely, well, I think that's why they did. Now Natalie ... for years I've kept myself away from her to protect her, and now I need to do the same. The only difference how worse it hurts. For both.

I keep thinking that, had I let her be three years ago, had I let her believe I was just as bad as everybody said, maybe now she'd really have a better life. Other than not even being able to smile fully as she once used to. Other than being nude in a hotel room in Paris, having just cheated on her boyfriend.

Yeah, this one too. I've made of her a cheater! Jeez, since the beginning, since I entered it, I've only fucked up her life. Because I was selfish. Because I needed to be close to her. I needed her to love me just as much as I loved her. I needed her to look at me and see I wasn't the devil everybody saw me as. I needed her to see I did have a good side. I needed her love.

Before her, I never knew what being loved meant. Sure, I had my uncle, but that was a different kind of love and it was far away. But Natalie ... she gave me the love I never thought I could ever have or even deserve. She showed me how it truly feels to have someone that smiles so brightly just as she looks at you. someone that believes in you, someone that doesn't stop at appearances and rumors but is even willing to stand up for you more than for herself.