The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 36 - Family Reunion

a/n: a little bit of introspection into Eric's character

let me know what you think :)

CHAPTER 36 - FAMILY REUNION

ERIC'S POV

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, gritting my teeth. Why the hell did I let him convince me to do this? It's useless. He's had lots of chances all over the years and he spoiled them all, why should that illness tale move me? Just because he's sick and he's finally realized he's got more than one son, doesn't mean I should be lenient. I know I won't be able to be. Because, to be honest, I've accumulated much resentment and bile all over the years. Especially because, hadn't he eloped like he did, then my childhood, my whole damn life, wouldn't have been so crappy. Maybe they would have gotten divorced anyway, but I would have had a chance to choose at least. Maybe I could have avoided all of that.

But no. He eloped. Forgot about his son for all these years and now, all of a sudden, because he's dying, he recalls he'd spread his seed somewhere else before impregnating his own secretary. After all these years, he decided I do exist and he wants to see me. Like I didn't have enough troubles. Lucky thing there's my sweet Natalie to keep me up enough not to reach the deepest gutter.

As you can guess, I was sitting in my car, which was pulled over a very specific driveway. Yeah, it was a Friday afternoon, well, almost evening, considering it was half past six already, and I was about to meet my father. My father. For the first time for real. My mother told me he eloped that I was barely two, after he found out about his secretary had given birth to his child after she left Washington (consider Kyle is only five months younger than I), so yeah, I barely remember him. Actually, I don't remember him at all. All I remember about him is his staring at me in utter shock just four years ago, at a soccer match, going so pale that he looked like he'd seen a ghost.

Although I'd seen him before. In pictures, that is. My mother has always been pretty eager to point out that it was my fault if that charming man had abandoned her to form a new family, because he too knew since the beginning what a damn waste of life I was, therefore he thought better to just elope. Because it couldn't be not wanting to take responsibilities, no. He took full responsibilities of the son he had with his secretary during an extramarital relationship, but he didn't want me. So I was the problem. Not her, not her drinking, not her being a dumb bitch attached to money. He left because he didn't want me.

Now I'm here, to comply with his last wishes. Why the hell did I agree? Oh, yeah, because my half-brother has pestered me for more than a week, showing up wherever with the excuse of having promised to Natalie to try and be friends with me for her sake. I'll admit he did play his role pretty well, I mean, he approached me always when she was in sight and could see us talk, but I highly doubt it was to make her see he was indeed trying his best, well, not just because of that. I bet it was more because he thought she was his guarantee I wouldn't snap and beat him to a pulp.

Because he knows she is my weakest point. Remember that time in the cafeteria, when my snapping brought to Natalie telling me she hated me? Yeah, that confirmed his idea that if there's one person in this world that has ever had power over me, that's her. She can manipulate me how she wants, you think I don't know that? I love her, for God's sakes. I am desperately in love with her and this week I've struggled not to let her mesmerizing eyes and smiles trick me into declaring so soon.

Every time we're cuddling, every time she looks at me so innocently while abandoning herself in my arms, as if to tell me that she indeed trusts me as she never has, every time she smiles so sweetly at me, melting my heart, I have to bite my tongue forcefully not to blurt out those three magic words that, said at the wrong moment, will only freak her out. She gazes at me with such joy in her eyes, such a bright light, that I almost always make the mistake of believing she can love me.