I'm who I wanna be

Chapter 13 - Forgotten keys

      I'm more than aware of Zayden's big steps behind me. He doesn't even try and keeps getting in the same line as me, which bothers me since I'm frustrated with the turn of events. Anything about him is making me nervous at the moment, and it takes more than pleasant words to relax me, although I'm not sure even those would help me in any way. I open the door to the room, leaving it open in case he decides to come in, as it's polite, though I don't plan on staying long. I'm looking for a sweatshirt in a hurry, because in an hour the school library will be closed, and it will get cold as soon as possible. Also, I doubt Zayden will orientate very well or maybe even not help me at all, which wouldn't surprise me for a second. Everything is possible. I can already imagine him taking a seat on a chair and leaving myself alone to get what I need from the thousands of bookshelves.

      I quickly put on the pink hoodie I found, pretending the brunette isn't leaning against the door stalking me like a predator, which I noticed in the few seconds I allowed myself to glance at him. I should have gone to the bathroom though, that way I would have avoided such an uncomfortable situation. I want to pass by him, but he is blocking the door, the only way I could do that, considering he's sitting in this position would be to walk between his legs, but I refrain from doing such a thing.

      "Cute," he says, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly into a smile, referring to my hoodie.

      I feel my cheeks burning up, but I don't reply to his comment.

      "Are we going?" I ask unconvincingly, purposely avoiding his eyes, preferring the view to Raine's drawings hanging on the walls, which give the room a more welcoming air.

      He makes room for me, easier and faster than I expected, and I take the lead, my high-heeled boots clattering strangely in the nearly empty hallways. I don't remember the exact reason for purchasing this type of footwear, as it was more suitable for Harlyn, but it is certain that I made a very poor choice this morning, mainly because I am not used to heels, however big they may be. A few girls stop from their more and more monotonous activities to look at Zayden, who is walking slowly with his hands in his pockets, looking far too relaxed considering that time is pressuring us. He stays behind, and I leave the building and sit on the steps, with the aim of waiting for him, because without him I can't solve anything, a fact about which I am distressed at the moment. He goes out in the cold wearing only the short-sleeved T-shirt he was wearing earlier. I thought he lingered because he went back to get a jacket, as I did. Apparently not.

      "Aren't you cold?" I ask him, confused.

      "I'll last there and back," he says nonchalantly and carelessly, shrugging his shoulders.

      Indeed, his arms show no signs of shivering, but the skin at the base of his neck does, for the skin there has become goose-like. Zayden has a relaxed air, otherwise he doesn't betray any emotion, just like he's used me so far in the few times I've had the opportunity to be around him. I wonder if he's the same with his friends, just as mysterious, indifferent and bored and rarely in a volcanic rage. I've formed a rather vague picture of him, one that lacks the essential elements to say that he really isn't a stranger to me. The fact that he's my best friend's roommate definitely takes him out of that phase, but I don't know much about him anyway, especially since I've barely seen him in the last month. I'd like to form an opinion of him as close to reality as possible, so that I know whether to try to find out more or stay away, as Raine and Harlyn advised me. I don't like being told what to do, that's why I don't really want to take what they told me for granted until I have the proof myself. However, I find it hard to believe that they are lying and pandering to the world, even though they are the only ones I've seen have a problem with him.