"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love." (Robert Fulghum)
Moving...
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Ugh! How I hate geography. Some of the lessons seem completely unnecessary to me, especially for those like me who prefer to use Google Maps than memorize the world map, or google for the information I need rather than memorize it. I shake my hand, which has become terribly sore from writing more than four pages of an A4 notebook in the space of fifty minutes. I just hope it rings soon or my fingers will fall off.
"Do you still want to come to my place?"
I turn my whole body towards Nevin, resting my head in my left palm and giving him my full attention. He catches me by surprise with all this fearful behavior that freaks me out sometimes. Why does he have reservations about me? I can see how he's making an effort to get over the phase that bothered him in the past, but it still doesn't feel like we can go back to how we were. Somehow, a barrier has been raised between us that prevents us from communicating like before, which no matter how hard I try, I cannot break down, no matter how many utensils I bring.
"The break is over. Back to writing," the professor announces, placing the mobile phone on the table.
No sooner has my hand stopped twitching than the teacher starts dictating to us again, and Nevin's question hangs in the air. I know I'll have to find an answer, but right now I don't have one. It would probably be better to spend the holiday at his house than at mine, but if we continue to be apart, I won't stand the atmosphere. Besides, the plane tickets have already been bought for weeks, so not going would be a waste of money that I would have to pay back to Nevin. Let's not forget the attorney, another cartload of money wasted if I decided not to honor the departure. I'm somehow forced to leave, I don't feel like I have a choice anymore. On the other hand, the time spent together could serve as a pretext for us to resolve all our misunderstandings or at least learn how to accept and move past them, because right now we are not on the same wavelength.
"What did he say?" asks Nevin, wanting to complete the sentence in his notebook that had remained unfinished since our colleagues complained that we wrote too much.
He could have gotten it during his writing break, but he had other concerns, like daydreaming.
I shrug, because my mind was elsewhere when the teacher finished the sentence, so I don't have a good excuse for not paying attention to the missing words either. I don't think I can rely on Raine this time as her moving out news has completely thrown her off guard, not that she wasn't careless and dizzy before. I've never seen her so quiet, but I can understand her reasons. Not only did she have to deal with a decision made by her mother, but she did it alone, without support and help. It was an extremely difficult period for her, and it continues to be, especially since she will be alone among strangers, an anxious girl in an already formed collective, with well-defined little groups of friends. Like me, Raine is afraid of being alone and finds it hard to make friends unless she already knows someone. At boarding school it was easy thanks to Harlyn, who instantly became her best friend, and only together they managed to meet other people. No one deserves to go through such a deception. The only one of us who could handle integrating into a new collective would be Harlyn.
