I'm who I wanna be

Chapter 23 - Back at the cafe

      "Why do I have to see this for the second time today?" I say indignantly, looking sometimes at Raine, sometimes at Harlyn.

      It wasn't enough that I had to watch this theater piece with Nevin instead of participating in the sports class, now I have to endure the drama of the "actors" who are not very skilled, with my girl friends on either side of me. I was dragged by them because they both like a boy from the theater group, and this performance, which will be the last for today, and I hope for the rest of my life, gives the girls a chance to congratulate them. I'm going to make myself invisible when this thing is over, because I already feel like I know it by heart and it's going to haunt me in my sleep. Nevin has no excuse for forcing me to watch this horror scene, because frankly, I'd rather sweat it out in gym class.

      "I love you, Penny. You're the light of my eyes, I'd give my life for you," I imitate Lucas, the one Harlyn sips from her eyes, pretending I didn't just make fun of him.

      The first time I saw it, it was amusing. Nevin would mock every line, and I was happy to see him in a good mood, considering it's become rare for us to understand each other so well lately. We didn't hold each other accountable, but we also avoided delicate and personal topics, and I tried my best to calm down my outspoken nature, which seems to irritate him these days. The second time around, it's not funny anymore, and seeing these two girls swoon over eleventh-grade boys is too much for me. I understand that they're good-looking, but their acting talent is almost nonexistent, and unfortunately, their looks don't save them or inspire me to turn a blind eye and give them another chance. I bet half of the audience consists of their friends who were either forced to come or have poor taste, or maybe they have nothing better to do. And the rest are girls like Raine and Harlyn, giggling innocently, who couldn't care less about the poorly executed good idea on stage. They're probably just gazing around without paying attention to the story.

      I roll my eyes around the room, utterly bored, with a burning desire to make a run for it at the first opportunity. As much as I want to ignore Sebastian's raspy voice that's scratching my brain, it's the only thing I can hear due to the silence in the room and the amplification from the speakers. A group of girls who didn't find seats is so engrossed in the show that all four of them have astonished looks as they closely watch the stage movements. Right next to them, two boys are gaping, sharing my agony, and behind them, the curly hair of someone restless and excited catches my attention. Could it be Hale? The person makes their way through the boys, confirming my suspicions. He's desperately searching for someone, and then his gaze falls on me, and we lock eyes for a few seconds, as if neither of us wants to back down, until Hale turns and leaves. Strange.

      I turn back to the skit, half-heartedly, of course, hoping that Hale would distract me a thousand times rather than listening to the syrupy continuation. Fortunately, it's almost over, as I wouldn't have been able to bear much more. I roll my eyes, silently pleading with the actors to cut the show for the mental health of people like me, because I'm sure I'm not the only one bored to death. I cast a final glance behind me, checking if those in the respective rows are interested, and seeing that they're not, I get up from my seat before Harlyn realizes and grabs my hands or any other available part of my body, so her hands grab nothing but air. I walk along the edge until I reach the row where Luke is sitting, easily spotted by the fact that he's the only one with a book in hand. I prefer to sit next to him rather than among my clueless friends who dream of unattainable boys. Maybe as unattainable as Zayden is to me.