Modern family: Addition

The incident (3)

Scene: Dunphy household

Claire : No one.

Dede : Ricky was your mother's boyfriend, and he looked like
Charles Manson. And one night, she didn't come home until 4:00
in the morning.

Haley : 4:00? Wow. Wow, mom, what were you and Ricky doing?

Me: What else. Studying under moonlight.

Claire : Nothing. We were doing nothing, and he was a very sweet boy, which you might have known if you bothered to get to know him.

Haley : Dylan's a sweet boy.

Claire : Dylan. Dylan is no Ricky. Ricky... Ricky was a poet.

Haley : Dylan writes songs... awesome songs. And maybe you
would know that if you "bothered to get to know him."

Dede : Ha!

Claire : Okay, you know, first of all, I am not my mother. I don't
judge people before I get a chance to know them. So you invite
Dylan over to dinner tonight, And if he's as sweet and as kind as
you say he is, then I have no problem considering letting you go to the concert after I do a background check on uncle tobey.

Me: Really?!

Haley : Thank you, thank you, thank you, mom. Okay, I'm gonna go call him. Okay.

Me: It's happening. Are you kidding me. Why you want to invite an outsider to our family dinner.

Hayley: Why not.

Me: Hello! He is not our family. He is an outsider.

Hayley: What's up with that. He is my boyfriend so that makes him part of the family.

Me: Mom, are you not going to reconsider your decision?

Claire: .....No.

Dede : That's very revealing.

Claire : That's my parenting style.

Dede : No, I meant your blouse.

Claire : Mom.

Dede : Claire, wait.

(Claire, Mitchell and me walked out of living room towards kitchen)

Mitchell : Come...Not making this easy. Claire, come on. Stop,
stop, stop. Just let her come to dinner, apologize to dad and Gloria, and she and Chas can live happily ever after. In Canada.

Me: Wait! Grandma wants to come to dinner. It's bad idea.

Mitchell: Why is this bad idea?

Me: My maths says that if grandma came to dinner tonight; there is ....87.79% chance that Gloria and her will fight.

Mitchell: what? That's bullshit.

Me: FYI, according to my analysis, there is almost 73% chance that fight will be initiated by Grandma. ( I used my knowledge of modern family episode to make that prediction because it's not possible to predict with No information and data. I'm almost 99% sure fight will happen but you have to notch down a little to make it more believable)

Mitchell: It's not possible. Mom is here to apologise and........move on in her life.

Claire : Wait, why don't you make her fix this instead of you
doing it, as usual?

Mitchell : Whoa. What's that supposed to mean?

Claire : Oh, you know, mom makes a mess, and there's Mitchell to clean it up.

Mitchell : Okay, that is so not true. If... if anything, you're the one
with the screwed-up relationship with mommy... With... with...
with mom.

Claire : Wow, " mommy "?

Mitchell : No, I didn't say it...damn it.

Claire : Ooh.

Mitchell : Fine.

Claire : Fine, she can come, but she's got to clear it with daddy.

Mitchell : "Daddy"?

Claire : I did not say "daddy."

Mitchell : You said "daddy."

Me: This is bad idea.

Mitchell: Shut up, Will.

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Pritchett household

Mitchell : Hey, dad.

Jay : Mitchell, what are you doing here?

Mitchell : Uh, I'm sorry to bother you. Uh, could I talk to you and
Gloria for a second?

Jay : Oh, she's out dealing with a Manny situation. He set a kid's
bike on fire.

Mitchell : Why?

Jay : Oh, I might have told him to get even with some kids, And he
went all Rambo with it. Not my best parenting moment.

Mitchell : Not your worst.

Jay : What's up?

Mitchell : Uh, well, you know, mom's in town.

Jay : Your mom?

Mitchell : No. No, your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes. Yes,
my mom.

Jay : My mom would be less scary.

Mitchell : Listen, she's a wreck about what happened at the
wedding, And she wants to come to dinner tonight to apologize to
everyone.

Jay : Still her little errand boy, I see.

Mitchell : No. Why does everybody keep say... no. I... I'm just trying to piece this family back together. So you'll talk to Gloria about mom coming to dinner?

Jay : Oh, Gloria would never go for that in a million years. She's
still furious with your mother, which is why I'm not talking to
you.

Mitchell : What did I do?

Jay : This conversation never took place.

Mitchell : Well, that's not very nice. I drove all the way here.

Jay : No, you didn't. You were never here. In fact, you never even called.

Mitchell : I would have called, but I thought it would be better to
talk about th... what... what's happening here?

Jay : Listen... I would love to get this thing behind us, but Gloria
would never forgive me if I pulled a fast one on her. That's why
you're going to pull a fast one on her, and I'm not going to like it
one bit.

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Dunphy household

Phil : D- money. There he is. Come on in.

Dylan : Hey.

Haley : Hi.

Dylan : Hey, how you doing?

Haley : Good. Um... Uh, hey, everybody, this is Dylan.

Dede : He has a very gentle soul.

Claire : You got that from "hey"?

Me: Yo bro.

Dylan: Hey.

Phil : So, Dylan, I see you brought the ax.

Dylan : Yeah, yeah, I just came from practice.

Phil: Sweet. Miss those days.

Dylan : Oh, you were in a band?

Phil : Could have been, but in high school, I was really all about
my magic, so...

Haley : Oh, my god.

Claire : Oh, that's gonna be dad and Gloria.

Dede : Oh, Mitchell, I know it's silly, but... I'm a little nervous.

Mitchell : Oh, no. That's not silly. You should be.

Phil : Hey. How are you? Manny.

Manny : Phil.

Phil : Nice mustache.

Manny : Thank you.

Jay : Don't make fun. He may burn your house down.

Me: Hi grandpa.

Jay: Hello Will. How's your company going? Do you need any help.

Me: Thanks grandpa for your support. Company is doing Great. I will let you know if I needed any help.

Jay: Great. That's my boy. You are way way better than most of us or even whole world.

Me: thanks Grandpa. It wouldn't have been without your love and support.

Me: Hi Manny.

Manny: Hi. Will. Just so you know, I'm also feeling I should write my comic book. Would you publish them.

Me: Well that's very good. When you finish them send to my company if it's good, Don't worry you will become famous.

Manny: Thanks. I have many ideas though but-

Me: Why don't we discuss after having nice dinner. It's not very appropriate to talk in this atmosphere.

Manny: Ya. You're right. Let's talk after that.

Me: Hola Gloria.

Gloria: Hola.

Mitchell : Oh, boy.

Jay : Dede.

Dede : Hi, Jay. Gloria.

Gloria : What is she doing here?

Dede : What does she mean, "what is she doing here?" Mitchell told you I'd be here.

Gloria : Lies!

Mitchell : I couldn't tell her because she wouldn't come. Gloria, my mom wants to apologize for everything.