Scene: Dunphy household
Phil : Beautiful morning, isn't it? It's a shame you have to work,
huh? Anyway, I would like a large sausage and pepperoni
Haley : Hey, move.
Alex : It's my stuff! Okay?
Haley : Just keep your hands off my stuff!
Phil: Hey!
Alex : I didn't put my hands on your stuff!
Phil : Hey! Just a second, Derek. What is the problem?
Haley : Alex read my journal.
Alex : I did not! Why would I even want to read your stupid
journal?
Haley : Because it contains the details of a life, And yo don't have one!
Alex: Ohh!
Phil : Alex, don't read Haley's journal.
Alex: Uhh!
Phil : Sorry. My daughters. You got kids? Oh. What grade are you
in?
Claire : Phil!
Phil : Oh, that's my wife, Claire.
Claire : Look what I found under Luke's bed. This.
Phil : I'm gonna have to, uh, call you back.
Claire : An adult magazine with..... A-a picture of a topless woman, With the biggest boobs I
have ever seen, Driving a tractor.
Phil : Okay, um, uh, first of all, That's a combine, not a tractor.
Claire : Phil! Phil, it is smut, and our 10-year-old is looking at
smut! It's disgusting!
Phil : Completely unacceptable.
(Commentary)
Phil : Here's the thing... that magazine was mine. Well, not really mine. There's this guy at work from whom I lend it from. Does... doesn't matter who. Gil Thorpe. He has these adult magazines with various erotic and naked pictures of women in it. There is tons of these magazines out there published by various publishing houses; And they.....are....are quite good...... Anyway, I had every intention of telling Claire. I just wanted her to calm down first.
Phil : Where are you going?
Claire : I'm going to pick up Luke from his sleepover. We need to
talk to him about this now.
Phil : Claire, this is a very delicate situation. If we don't handle it
right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex.
Or agribusiness. We'll talk about it when he gets home.
Claire : Okay. Fine. But I am telling him that every time he looks at porn, God kills a puppy.
Phil : Maybe I should be the one to talk to him.
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Pritchett household
Gloria : I am a very lucky woman. I have a wonderful family, a
beautiful home. There's nothing that I would change. I hate the
dog butler. I keep forgetting it's there, And every time it happens, it scares me all over again. Sometimes, at night, I think it's the devil. El diablo.
Jay : Barkley? He's hilarious. I was in Vegas last month, and I was
winning... ...And I thought, I could do the usual... Be a chump,
give the money back to the casino... Or I could do something
smart and buy something for myself at the casino store. He's
already a family favorite.
Jay : Rub his chin a little under there. He likes that. There you go. Beautiful. There you go.
Jay : He's a dog and a butler. I mean, who couldn't love him?
Gloria : Stupid dog.
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Dunphy household
Claire : I didn't find any more magazines or Erotica.
Phil : That was hardly Erotica. It was a topless woman on a tractor.
You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.
Claire : I should go talk to him.
Phil : Honey, honey, honey, I got this! I got this! No, no, no, no, no.
I-I got this. I got this. I was his age once. Breasts are like these
scary mystical things that he's drawn to, like Frodo to Mordor.
Claire : Okay, I'm definitely going to talk to him.
Phil : No, no, no, no! Boys don't want their moms talking to them about sex any more than girls want their dads talking to them
about periods, bras, and girdles and all that stuff.
Claire : You do know that women stopped wearing girdles like 30
years ago, right?
Phil : Honey, I know. I know. That... that is... that is exactly the
kind of sexual revolution That our son is going through right now, So... Just... let's just... just trust it. Fix that step. Just know I will handle this, okay?
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Pritchett household
Gloria : Del Diablo!
Jay : Hey, Gloria, do you have any idea why Barkley was in the
guest room?
Gloria : I was just doing a little redecorating. Sometimes it's good to move things around just to see how they look.
Jay : Yeah, but the guest room... that's crazy. He's not a guest. He
works for us. Hey, give me a hand here, will you? I think his jacket shifted while I was moving him. We can't have you untucked, our
little butler. That doesn't make any sense, does it, boy?
Gloria : ay!
Jay : "ay"? What was that? Is he all right?
Gloria : Ay, no. My bracelet got caught a little bit here.
Jay : Well, don't panic.
Gloria : I'm not panicking.
Jay : All right, try to relax. We can fix him. Let me take a better
look. Come here, boy.
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Dunphy household
Phil : Luke?
Luke: Hey, dad. Hey, buddy.
Phil : Um...Look, You and I need to have a little talk.
Luke : About what?
Phil : Well, it's about some photography and literary stuff. Um... You know you have to take care of your books, materials after you read it? and not just throw away like that.
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Pritchett household
Gloria : Sorry, Jay. It was an accident.
Jay : You know, I'm beginning to think you don't like Barkley that
much. I mean, first you hide him in the guest room, And now this.
Gloria : It's ridiculous! I didn't mean to hurt it!
Jay : First of all, let's cut the "its." He is a he. And you can pretend
to be innocent all you want, but action speaks louder than words.
Gloria : Yeah. They can be very revealing.
Jay : What are you trying to say?
Gloria : Nothing, but you have to admit that the dog butler is a
little ridiculous.
Jay : You know what else I think is ridiculous? That mountain of
pillows you have on our bed. I feel like I'm working on a loading dock just trying to get under the covers.
Gloria : They're pretty.
Jay : They're a damn nuisance.
Gloria : Okay, forgive me for trying to make our home beautiful.
Jay : Well, you know, if I can put up with those, you can put up
with a piece of art.
Gloria : This is not art. It's an unholy mix between man and beast. But fine. If you love it so much, put it wherever you want.
Jay : Thank you. Where you going, to get some more pillows?
Gloria : No, don't worry. It'll be a long time before I bother you
again with my pillows.
(Cut the scene)
Scene: Dunphy household
Alex : Why is dad in Luke's room with the door closed?
Me: Well I was about to ask the same thing. What are they doing anyways?
Claire : They are having a little talk.
Alex : Is Luke being punished?
Claire : Is that your favorite thing, When your brothers or sister
gets into trouble?
Alex : My favorite is when they're all in trouble. So, what'd he
do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater.
Claire : He did not cheat on a test.
Alex: Did he lie?
Claire : Alex.
Alex : He lies all the time.
Claire : Alex.
Alex : Sorry. I'm... I'm just worried about Luke. A lot of parents are
hitting again.
Claire : I appreciate your concern, But your father has it under
control.
Me: Well, that's what I'm worried about.
(Upstairs in Luke's room)
Phil : 24. 25. Flincher! Free slap. Bring it up.
Luke : Ow!
Phil : 29.
Luke : Can be on the bottom now?
Phil : Yeah.
Claire : Mm. How'd it go?
Phil : Well, he was really embarrassed, but everything's...
everything's fine now.
Claire : What'd you say?
Phil : Well, you know, I kind of promised him We'd keep
everything between us. Mm-hmm. Matter of fact, He'd be mortified if you brought it up with him... Ever.
YOU ARE READING
Modern family: Addition
FanfictionStory will follow on the lines of Sitcom Modern family but with slight twist and more spices. let's see what happens when someone from other universe born in this funny family. does he has something unique, what are his aspirations, what is his goal...
