Modern family: Addition

Undeck the halls (2)

Scene: At the Mall

Cameron : When I was in charge, it was all about music. I mean,
what's with them tossing out candy canes after every carol?

Mitchell : It's pandering. I think you made that clear when you
tossed them back.

Cameron : Okay, how am I supposed to get all this in the car?

Santa/Scott : Let me give you a hand with that.

Cameron : Uh, thanks. Thanks... thanks, Santa.

Santa/Scott : Can't call me that anymore. Just got canned.

Mitchell : Oh. Really?

Santa/Scott : Guess a couple of people complained I wasn't fat
enough.

Cameron : Well, that's terrible.

Santa/Scott : That's what I get for trying not to have a second heart attack. There you go. Always a way to make room. Take it from
someone who lives in his car.

Mitchell : Um...Oh, well, thank you so much.

Santa/Scott : No problem. Merry Christmas.

Mitchell : Um, wait, wait. Um, please, let me give you a little
something. For... for your troubles.

Santa/Scott : No, that's okay. No, really, that's okay.

Cameron : Do you really live in your car?

Santa/Scott : Yeah, it's not so bad. It's pretty roomy since the wife
moved out. Well...

Cameron : Why don't you come over to our place for dinner
tonight?

Santa/Scott : Seriously?

Cameron : Yeah, it's Christmas eve. You... you can't spend it in
your car.

Santa/Scott : Wow, that's really nice of you guys. Listen, can I
bring anything? Ketchup, soy sauce, straws?

Cameron : We're good.

Mitchell : So, uh, why don't you follow us to our house?

Santa/Scott : Okay. In your house. All right.

Mitchell : Cameron.

Cameron : What?

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Dunphy household

Haley : I can't believe it's all gone. Mom didn't believe it. Dad never follows through.

Alex : I mean Will's explanation was impeccable. Are you sure one of your friends didn't burn the couch?

Haley : Hey, don't look at me. Only one of us was ever caught
playing with matches. Luke.

Luke : That was a year ago. Just admit you did it.

Haley : You admit you did it!

Me: Stop it you all. We all know no one did it. I mean real reason Mom and dad are mad that one of us is smoking and  no one of us is smoking here. Hell, that's not even cigarette burn. Now, what remains is matches and lighter etc. but if that's the case then they should reprimand the responsible one and have no reason to punish us so severely by cancelling Christmas.

Hayley: But Mom definitely believes that one of us is smoking and that's burnt part is cigarette burn.

Alex : Okay. Look, I have an idea. Do you remember the movie
"Spartacus"? Here's what we do... Luke, you tell mom and dad it's
your fault.

Luke : I didn't do it.

Alex : It doesn't matter, because after you confess, Haley and I will
each confess to the same thing.