Family portrait (1)

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Phil : Get in here.

Claire : Okay.

Phil : Oh, no can do.

Claire : : Oh. Oh.

Phil : I love you.

Claire : Bye.

(Cut the scene)

Scene : Pritchett household

Jay : Where's my good underwear?

Gloria : The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay?
You make a nice living!

Jay : The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with
Manny's. Put on the first thing I grabbed... It was like a crotch
tourniquet. You got to talk to her.

Gloria : Why me?

Jay : Hola. You both speak the same language.

Gloria : She's Portuguese. Do you know how offensive it is that
you put all of us in the same mixing pot?

Jay : I'm sorry. Please apologize to her when you tell her not to put
my underwear...

Gloria : I can't talk to her!

Jay : Hey, guys.

(Phil and Alex enters)

Phil : Hey!

Jay : Where's Luke?

Alex : I'm going instead.

Phil : Luke suddenly remembered a school project due tomorrow.

Jay : Oh, that's tough. But it's a good lesson for the kid. You know, you made a commitment, you got to follow through.

Phil : Yeah.

Gloria : What is the project?

Phil : Uh, he has to interview somebody who lived through the 1930s.

Jay : Oh, no. Hello. Yeah, Luke. Oh, sure, I remember what I said.
Yeah, come on over. All right. Gloria, you're gonna have to take Manny to the game.

Gloria : Yay. Manny, vamos!

Manny : I'm still getting dressed! Hey, mom! I think my diet's
working! My underwear won't stay up!

[OPENING CREDITS]

(Cut the scene)

Scene : Pritchett-Tucker household

Mitchell : Oh, so delicious. Yes. Hey, you're okay with me not
going with you today, right?

Cameron : I have been hired to sing at a wedding this weekend. I was plucked from obscurity after a particularly stirring karaoke
performance. So I guess you could say I'm a professional singer
now.

Mitchell : I don't know. Well, they're paying you in flowers, so...

Cameron : Well, I would have blown the money on flowers
anyway. They're saving me a step. Plus, all the great divas are
rewarded in flowers.

Mitchell : They're also given paychecks.

Mitchell : It's just, I'm really bad at small talk, so...

Cameron : I get it. It's not a problem.

Mitchell : Are you sure? Because you've been quiet all morning.

Cameron : It's because I'm resting my instrument.

Mitchell : Okay. I feel tension.

(Cut the scene)

Scene : At basketball game

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