Heal Me or Let Me Die

Chapter - 20

“No”

“Listen to me.”

“No, means no!”

“Please….”

“I said NO.” He raised his voice at the end with the annoyance.

“A-Zhan!!” Mrs Xiao looked hurt by his tone.

Xiao Zhan felt guilty for hurting her and looked away from the painful gaze of his mother which was equally hurting him. But he could do nothing. He was unwilling and all she were doing was persuading him to do what he didn't want to do.

For the past one week, the Lee couple has been regularly visiting him everyday. They were spending time there, talking to him and convincing him to go forward with the treatment. Although he was hardly responding to them and cooperating with them, still he did not reject them after the first incident. He was thinking of it as a make up of his mistake to a pregnant lady. He couldn’t wash out the guilt from his conscience.

But over the past two days he felt that he was constantly compelled by everyone for agreeing to accompany Dr Wang to his hometown which he did not want to accept. This was the suggestion of this Lee couple who came to his life unexpectedly, saying it would be a good chance for his health. But he didn't want to go anywhere else.  He just wanted to return to his home and hide there forever. No more treatment, no more pressure, no more hopes, and just wished for a little peace for him.

The second thing that was bothering him was that a few days back his father was there to meet him and urged to take them back with him. Even at that time, his mother refused to go back without asking him what he preferred. If he wanted to stay here or go back? His parents had an argument about this and in the end, his father had to leave without them and return alone.

He was disappointed with his mother's decision but did not say anything more after a couple of arguments he had with her. After that, he became more silent and closed himself again. He was even more surprised to think that what had possessed his mother was that she believed everything the couple and the doctor had said.

The only good thing that happened to him these days was that his pain completely disappeared within a few days after the surgery. His panic attacks were still there but they were not as severe as before, except the one that he had after the suggestion to move from there to the town.

One more thing happened these days and he was happy about it that his thoughts revolving around someone immediately stopped when he came to know about his safety. He was relieved. Without those thoughts, he had returned to his normal state. At least that's what he thought.

Now again his mother was talking about the same topic. This made him sensitive and he shouted at her and hurt her. He didn’t like it but what could he do when no one was listening to him? He , himself, is in dilemma.

Mrs Xiao let out a hurtful sigh and sat on the nearby bench, watching his son who was sitting in a wheelchair, looking at a direction where a family was walking away with their daughter, like Xiao Zhan sitting in a wheelchair. She had her foot plastered but was chatting cheerfully with her parents. They were laughing and smiling all the way to the exit gate of the hospital.

Even through the pain that that girl might be feeling in this kind of situation, her brighten face showed how happy she was. Anyone can call Mrs Xiao selfish who saw the unpleasant look on her face grew at that view and they will be justified. But no one understood the pain that was stabbing her heart at the moment. Not even his son who was only engrossed in his sentiments. 

Her eyes welled up thinking all the good memories that they spent together.

If only…..his son would have opened up like before, like three years ago when he was happy and smiling then they would also be like that family, sharing their laughs and happy moments.