Heal Me or Let Me Die

Chapter - 26

If only…….

When the intense throbbing in his head went to the next degree and became almost unbearable that he couldn't think more. He dropped the photo frame back in the drawer and began searching for the thing that he, really, was looking for.

To keep his adrenaline under check, he needed only what he was looking for. He knew that only it could give him relief. He searched the entire drawer again and again but still, nothing was found. Where was it now? He was getting upset. What should he do now?

More than his throbbing head, this thought terrified him to go into a panic.

The drawer on the side of his bed, where he usually kept that thing, was lying empty. There was nothing, except some files. Where would he find it now?

He thought for a while as to where he might have put the thing for the last time, but he could not remember. It's been several months since he had used that thing. These past months have been good for him. He hardly needed that thing to keep his adrenaline under control. So he had forgotten about its placement.

He thought for another second and then went to the area where his wardrobe was. He looked up and saw a black box above the cupboard.

He took down the box and started scattering the items on the ground one by one. All the things from his childhood were lying in that box. His old toys, medals, some old trophies, and some photo frames were kept safe in it.

And among those things lay an old type of audio recorder.

The recorder looked years old. There were many stains on it and its nickel had come off in many places, yet it turned out to be in good condition. It looked as if its owner had taken good care of it.

As soon as he saw the recorder, his breath came to life. He carefully lifted it from the box. He couldn't remember when he had placed it among these things but now he was in no mood to remember. Now he was relieved after just getting it.

Putting the rest of the stuff back in the box, he put it back in its original place, on top of the cupboard. Then, holding the audio recorder, he went back to his bed and sat down. He picked up his headphones lying on the drawer and put them in his ears, pinning them to the recorder.

He started the audio recorder. A sweet and soothing hum coming from inside the appliance worked its magic to relieve his stress. It was as if he had cast a spell to bind all the unruly demons inside him and push them back into the dark corner so that they could be imprisoned there again and never be allowed to come back to haunt him. Every conflict inside him started calming down. 

However, with the advent of new technology in the world, the use of these old types of equipment was coming to an end. Nonetheless, some people not only kept them but also used them.  Yibo also cherished it like a treasure.

It was not that he never thought of putting that tune from inside this device into any other device. He not only thought but also did it. He had transferred this tune to his mobile but that thing did not work for him.  He could not get the peace that he used to get by holding this old recorder and listening to it. He didn't know what kind of magic it was, but when both of them, recorded and the tune, were near him, Yibo felt that their soothing power would increase tenfold.

This tune, this voice is his life, this is his conscience and this is the switch over which his light is in complete control. Such was the power this voice had held on to him and he allowed it to do so.