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Alec had his arms crossed around his chest, while his fingers drummed on his left forearm, he was breathing heavily, the anxiety was overwhelming him. By the age of 12 Alec had closed the doors that led to his feelings, had tried to have less relationships with the people around him not to become attached to anyone. And now this Magnus Bane comes and with a simple touch was bringing down everything that was built around him.

"Alexander". Magnus's voice said behind him, resting a hand on Alec's shoulder. At that touch Alec's breath calmed down, and this did nothing but make it even more tense.

"You shouldn't have stood up alone". Alec said without turning around and still looking at the course that the snow was falling on the trees, and on the lawn, completely white.

"What happened?". Magnus asked, ignoring what Alec had said.

"Nothing. It's just..." Alec paused before he could say anything else and turned to Magnus.

"I'm going to cook for dinner". Without looking in his eye, because he knew that if he had done that his defenses would fall, he started toward the door. He didn't even take two steps that felt a tightness around his wrist.

"Why does your mood have to change every 5 seconds? What did I do now?". Magnus asked Alec, who was still turned from behind. The grip that Magnus had on Alec's wrist did nothing but increase the beats of his heart.

"Stop that". Alec said turning and Magnus raised an eyebrow.

"Stop what?". Alec looked into the chocolate-colored eyes of Magnus, and felt his breath grow heavier.

"To make me feel all this. Whenever I'm near you, or just looking at you in your eyes my heart accelerates, and my breathing becomes inregular. I don't know why, and I don't want to know. I only know it must end." Alec said continuing to hold Magnus's gaze chained in his eyes. Magnus was a bit surprised by Alec's words, but also a bit angry at the last sentence.

"The same thing happens to me, I know why, and also that unlike you... I would like to let you know". Magnus approached a few steps to Alec, finding himself a few inches from his face. Both could breathe the air of the other, and their eyes wandered from their eyes to their lips.

"N-no p-please go away". Alec stammered, taking a few steps back. He didn't want to make anything happen that could have meant something, he couldn't become attached to someone. Magnus instead of listening to him took a few steps forward. They did this until Alec found himself with his back pressed against the wall, and Magnus's body a few inches from his own.

"Why you always try to keep yourself away from other people, or you oppose trying something for them". Magnus spoke a few inches from Alec's lips.

"B-because... I learned something in life, that the only person you can trust is yourself. The others are nothing but figures that only want you for secondary purposes". Alec spoke with contempt looking at Magnus straight in the eye.

"So is it the same for Jace and Max?" Magnus said moving away a few inches.

"Max is my little brother, blood of my blood, we care of each other and nobody would do anything to the other. Jace... there was a period where I constantly get him away, but he had always been there even if at some point I started to feel bad for him and I started to shoot shit or starting to punch him, for making him understand I'm not worthy. He did nothing, he just made me go on but at some point I stopped, and started crying f... he is like a brother to me. The two of them are the only people I really care about".

Alec said looking constantly into Magnus's eyes, who wondered what could have happened  to make Alec shut down so much. Magnus moved away from Alec until he was a few feet away from him.

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