Spy Story

.36

From that word on it was as if the world had stopped. Alec had remained impassive, his gaze hadn't changed even for a moment, while his body had suddenly stiffened, which he thought maybe he didn't notice, but Magnus had done it instead.

He didn't know how long they had been staring at each other like that, a clash of chocolate eyes and hazel eyes, waiting for the other move to end that contact. Magnus would have liked to hug him, they hadn't seen each other for a month, and standing there having him in front of him without being able to do anything, was driving him crazy.

But the thing that made him worse was Alec's gaze that showed nothing but emptiness, which showed nothing but to care less about having Magnus in front of him. What was the first to interrupt that exchange of looks, not surprisingly, was Alec who, passing by Magnus, went to sit on the sofa, keeping his gaze fixed in front of him with his hands on his knees lost in thought.

From behind, Magnus could clearly see his stiff shoulders, he seems to be in league with himself, so Magnus slowly came up behind him, wanting to put his hands on his shoulders, but at some point he froze. He no longer knew who he was for Alec, or whether he was allowed to do certain actions, and this thing was driving him crazy, so all he did was sit on the other side of the couch, waiting for the other to talk.

"If you are here because you think I'm coming back with you, you have completely thought wrong." Alec broke the silence after several minutes of looks lost in the void, and Magnus's leg that did nothing but move quickly due to tension.

When Magnus heard those words he laughed a little making Alec turn towards him and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You know this is the point, I don't know why I came here, when I already knew the answer to my questions, and I knew you wouldn't want to come back. But I hoped I could convince you..." Magnus laughed again, he was just going crazy, and the storm he wanted to free wouldn't be stopped so easily.

"...as I hoped someone would come and save me in that warehouse a month ago." Magnus perceived Alec looking away from him at those words, and took the opportunity to look at him, and see him with his eyes turned to his right side, but this didn't prevent him from continuing that speech that would hurt both of them.

"As I hoped that when I woke up after the operation, the first thing I would see was you." Magnus said not wanting to look away from the figure of Alec, who was now becoming even more tense.

"As I hoped you might come back soon, that you wouldn't have abandoned us all, just for that stupid theory of the good of others." Magnus said clenching his hands in a fist thinking of the month of shit he'd been through after Alec left.

"It's not stupid, the people around me get hurt, and for their good I have to keep them away". Alec whispered, looking back at himself, not allowing himself to look around at Magnus, who was slowly losing his patience.

"For their good? How selfish you are". Magnus said getting up from the couch, and trying not to freak out, he ran his hand through his hair, keeping his cool, then turning to Alec, and looking into his eyes.

"Selfish?". Alec finally asked him looking into his eyes, which now only transmitted anger.

"Yes, selfish. You don't realize that all you're doing, you're not doing it for others, but you're doing it only for yourself?". Magnus said raising his hands in the air, in frustration and starting to walk back and forth in front of Alec.

"Don't make excuses like, I do it for your own good, because we Alec all of us, we were a shit this month, so stop saying that and just say that you left because you can't stand to see people suffer anymore in front of you and it is only because you stop suffering that you have abandoned us... selfish".