Monster: A Werewolf Romance

58. RUNNING IN CIRCLES

KYLE

I fucked it all up.

That's all that goes through my mind the next day, as I try and concentrate on my work. Kaea didn't have to come today, she could've but she said she needed rest.

I fucked it all up. It was stupid of me to open my fucking mouth. She always wanted to know why I did what I did, and I told her, kind of, but holy shit that did not go well.

I still felt empty, like I needed one more drink. It pissed me off, and I invited it in anyways. It was one more and one more, and I had never been so frustrated about the fact that werewolves couldn't really get drunk.

It was the second day, and Kaea had not yet come. She didn't need to, her work was done. Today was on me.

But my eyes couldn't stop searching for her. I wouldn't go to her, there was no way to unfuck it all now. It was ruined, but I couldn't dispel the want, the need to see her.

"Hey, man." Mason must have sensed my foul mood, because he had been keeping an eye out for me, as he went about his work. "Abigail said that one of the screws in one of the cabins of the wheel are coming lose. Could you check it?"

I nodded and went, and stopped in my tracks as I saw her. Her hair tied up in a ponytail, face and eyes red, and she froze when she felt me. How had I not felt her? Guess the booze must be working.

As I neared them, Abigail's nose crinkled. "You stink. I hate that smell."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Thank you very much."

Kaea's eyes were stuck on the loose screw, as if the power of her gaze would fix the problem.

"Where is it?" I asked.

Abigail pointed, and I noticed that the screw was bent from the weight of the cabin. "We'll have to..."

"Buy another screw? Obviously, dumbo. Question is- where will we get it?"

"I am your Alpha-to-be, Abigail. Are you sure that is the way to talk to me?"

"The Luna-to-be will save me from your wrath, sir."

Both Kaea and I froze, not moving at all. Abigail's gaze fluttered between us, and she let out a huge, heavy sigh. "Seriously?" She muttered, then clicked her fingers. "I know! The circus-"

"Fair." I interrupted, and Kaea cracked a small smile, but hid it quickly.

"-you rented it from would have some, right? Kaea and I can go."

It took a heartbeat for Kaea to answer. "Sure."

"Fine." I said flatly, as if I couldn't care less. Maybe if I pretended enough, it will become true.

KAEA

The packet of huge screws shook in my hand. We had bought one extra just in case. There wasn't much talk except I asked her why she hadn't come yesterday, and her reply was a sour face and 'stomach ache'. But as we settled into the car, Abigail turned to me. "I know we are barely friends but... you can tell me. I know Kyle."

For some reason that made me jealous, annoyed, and relieved all at once. I took a deep breath. "Nothing much. I might be going soon though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I had filled out some applications for colleges in the state, because I... I didn't want to study very far away. But I want to study more, I think. At least give that life a chance because I am never sure about my life here." I found it surprisingly easy to talk to her. She might understand my need to leave. She might understand my want to stay.

She nodded. "Always thought you were a nerd."

I cracked a small smile. "Yeah, I am. But before that, I just wanted to go forever, and Kyle figured that out. That I wanted to go forever. He saw some brochures and I haven't told him I broke up with this other guy..."

As I babbled on I realized how fucked up I have been, too. Why the hell did I keep playing that game with him? But I felt, no brain was convinced that I had been given the final push to leave yesterday. I don't think anything can happen with Kyle and me, ever. And I cannot be Luna, then. I cannot even be Beta. An Alpha needs to like and trust his Beta, and vice versa. What kind of team would we make with that sort of tension?

How will I see him take on another mate? He would have to. Every Luna needs an Alpha and every Alpha needs a Luna. They keep each other in check.

Abigail didn't say anything.

"Well he became angry, and I said somethings. And I... he said something and I don't know how to feel about that."

I stayed quiet, then, Abigail said. "If you are going...how would it make you feel if I try to get back together with him? He obviously needs someone. Maybe we can learn to love each other."

Nausea burned in my stomach. I didn't open my mouth in case I started hurling insults at her. Or vomited inside her car, which sounded very appealing right now.

Abigail looked over at me, my tight face and the deep glower on my face, and shifted to her side.

I took a deep breath. Of course, she is right. He is going to need someone. I'd rather it be someone like Abigail who I know he wouldn't be able to replace me with. That would be a fail.

No, no. What am I saying? It should be Abigail because unlike me, he'd actually be able to make her happy and she'd actually love him. Something we lack very much.

Yup.

I am fine with this. No issues. It might take me a little time to get used to this but yeah, no issues.

"Sure," I say tightly, my chest feeling heavy and I start looking out the window.

When we reach back, I stomp out and as soon as I see Kyle, I want to mark him as mine like a cavewoman. But I go to him, and push the packet into his hands, and go to my car.

______________________________________

When I started writing this book, I thought this was going to be around 60 chapters. But a whole arc is still left, so I guess you can comfortably expect 20 more chapters, lol. 

In the media box, you'll find, "Break Your Heart by Ronnie Watts". I am pretty sure she is an indie musician. Show her some love, please!

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