Monster: A Werewolf Romance

66. FROM MIDNIGHT TO DAY

KAEA

I couldn't sleep. I kept on staring outside. I had told him I needed some space and with a lot of effort from his part, he had agreed. I could see what it was doing to him , how much it was hurting him to see me push me away like this.

Did he really love me? Love?

What a heavy word. Something deep down I wanted to hear, but I was so scared, so scared of letting him inside my heart. My brain and heart were not in sync. I wanted to do one thing, but I should be doing the other thing.

I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to test him. But it was so hard to believe he was being honest.

I wanted so desperately for him to be honest.

And the whole night one question kept repeating inside my head.

Was it better to be love and have your heart broken or never love at all?

***

The morning was early for me, I showered to reduce some of my dark circles. Pro tip: Showers do nothing to make you look more healthy. Somehow, they magnified my eyes, and I put a little concealer on it.

I had to be at the Pack House today. The rides would be removed tomorrow night, and till then we had to see what kind of money went where and why. What we were planning to do with the rest of it. I was kind of looking forward to it.

Was it weird that my lips still tingled? I could feel his kisses even now. I shook my head, then sighed. My mind wouldn't agree, but I had been trying and trying, and my feelings weren't going away, were they?

I wanted to love him so badly, be with him so badly, but I was scared of heartbreak. It was a very real possibility. Wasn't that the case for everyone though?

But didn't I have more reasons than the average person to mistrust him.

And didn't I want those reasons to not matter at all.

My father had already gone, and I packed my bag and went.

He was waiting outside, leaning against the wall and it reminded me of the day, a few weeks ago, when he had waited for me outside, awake at the crack of dawn, the morning after my 'date night' with Andrew. His nose had healed. Werewolves heal fast, Alphas even faster. I looked to see if it had healed askew by any chance.

"Hey." I greeted him.

He gave me an amused expression. "Didn't get any sleep?"

I took out my mirror and looked at my eyes- the dark circle was only slightly noticeable.

"It's your socks." He smirked.

I looked down. Yup, mismatched. One was green and one was white and orange. I looked up at him. "Ha ha. Very funny."

I went inside, as he grinned. It warmed my fucking heart, and I had to stop myself from just... just even being more near him.

"What are we going to do today?" I asked him as we made our way to the library.

"The money collected is with me, and the Alpha gave me the bills. So we are going to sort that out and-"

"Figure out what we are going to do with the rest of it." I completed.

He nodded. "Hey, by the way, do you know where Abigail is?" I smirked this time. "I mean, she hasn't been around and I have called her twice, and she doesn't want to tell me." He made a slightly sour face. "I do not understand that woman."

"She didn't tell you?"

"She told you?" He said, eyes narrowing in confusion.

"No, but I was a witness."

"Right." He looked at me expectantly. "You are going to make me ask. Should've known." He snorted lightly, I grinned. "Kaea, could you please tell me what happened?"

He started taking a gulp of his coffee. I smile slyly. Perfect timing. "Oh, she found her mate."

He sputtered, the coffee thankfully not spilling anywhere. He choked a little more, and I stood up, concerned. "Are you okay?" Yeah, maybe choking someone to death is not a good idea.

"Yeah. Yeah. What did you say?"

"She found her mate." I bit my lip, excited to tell him the next part. "Won't you ask me who it was?"

"Oh so you know that too, huh?" He looked at me, straight in the eyes. My stomach fluttered, and my my breathing shortened. This was a good opportunity to spill out, set things straight.

"Uh huh. Andrew."

"What? What the fuck?"

I nodded again. "My ex-boyfriend Andrew."

"Ex-boyfriend?" He asked, and it was my chance to shoot him an amused look.

"That was what caught your ear. The 'ex' part." I tried for a laugh but he didn't say anything. I cringed my nose. "I am sorry. I guess I should've told you sooner. Andrew and I broke up weeks ago."

He was still just staring at me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was going to get pissed, wasn't he?

"Um, before we went to the fair you took me to. And uh, before he came to ours."

He was expressionless. Shit, shit. I calmed myself down. "I am sorry that I tried to-"

"Make me jealous?" Yeah, still not much of an expression. I winced.

"Yeah."

He took a deep breath, and lounged back on his chair. "I am not going to say that didn't piss me off."

I looked up at him, and he was looking at me. "I don't think you are the one who needs to be apologising in any way." He said in such a bitter voice, it caught me off guard.

"I made a mistake, Kyle. And I am going to own up to it. So, there, I am sorry."

He looked at me sadly, voice dropping to a whisper. "How do you do it so easily?"

"It's not easy." And then we both didn't say anything. Was this always going to be this awkward. No, no. Beyond the awkward phase is the good phase.

"Kyle... you scared me, before, you know. And then, a little bit after. You scared me right up to the time I was sure you wouldn't hurt me."

He looked down. "I am sorry." He whispered. "I didn't- I didn't get it. I mean... I guess I did, but not to that extent."

"I know. I know it now." I fingered the crescent necklace on my head. Lee had wanted me to be stronger, and I had. Her faith was one of the reasons why.

"And now you scare me in a different way." He looked up fast, I thought he had snapped his neck. He didn't say anything, and I didn't elaborate.

"How?" He asked, when it was clear I won't say anything further.

"I guess you'll have to find out." I looked away, because I could feel the pain running through our veins. But it was a small dose of what I had been feeling all these weeks. Finding out he was my mate, and building something with him, to finding out it was one of the hardest things to let him go. This pain was nothing to that.

______________________________________________
I feel like I am on a roll.

In the media box, you'll find, "Tortured Souls by Chord Overstreet."

Love you guys!

K R Y S T L E