Strange Encounter - a Criminal Minds fic

Chapter 32

(tw: self harm. will put another warning before the section!)

Spencer rolled over, arm reaching out searching for Amelia's body. Not finding it, he rubbed his eyes in confusion. Looking at the clock on the nightstand, he realized it was only 5:30 AM. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so soundly.. actually, he could. When he was staying with Amelia after the case ended, he had never slept better. Usually, Spencer only fell asleep once his exhaustion was so strong he could no longer keep his eyes open which was well past midnight, and even then his sleep was restless. He didn't know what it was, but being near Amelia eased his subconscious. He took that as a good sign.

Rolling back over, he heard the sink run in the bathroom. When the door opened, Amelia tip-toed back to the bed, not realizing Spencer had woken up. Sliding back under the covers, his arms reached for her.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry if I woke you up" she whispered.

"Mmm, not your fault" Spencer's voice cracked. She found his sleepy voice beautiful, this state before being fully awake. She relished in the few times she's been able to hear it, waking up next to him growing to become one of her favorite feelings. He pulled her close to him, nuzzling his nose in her hair. "You should get s'more sleep babe."

"I'm sure I'll fall back asleep. You go ahead." She drew small circles with her finger on his exposed chest, committing as many details to memory of this moment as she could. The sun hadn't quite started to rise yet, but the sky was breaking from dark blue to a lighter purple, a few birds starting to chirp. The feel of Spencer's heartbeat under her head, the smell of him in every breath she took.

As her eyes started to grow heavy, and just when she thought he had fallen back asleep, Spencer's voice spoke softly.

"D'you remember in the Philly precinct, when Derek 'n Emily were questioning you?"

She grimaced at the memory, her eyes losing their heaviness instantly. Talking about her mom was a rarity, so she remembered the few instances she did. He knew that, so why was he bringing this up?

"Uhm, yeah, I do. You stopped it, I don't think I told you how relieved I was. You seemed.. pissed."

She felt him readjust slightly, his arm behind her rubbing her scalp and playing with her hair. She let out a small sigh, the feeling easing her tension slightly.

"I didn't tell you then, it just didn't seem like the right time, but uh.." Amelia heard his voice start to gain clarity, the crackling easing off, "my mom is also schizophrenic. My dad left when I was a kid, similar to Edgar, and uh it was just her and I. I spent a lot of my childhood taking care of her.. she's a genius, brilliant really, and we spent a lot of our time reading. I think that's where my passion for books came from."

Amelia heard him take a deep breath and didn't dare move. She knew how hard it was to talk about things like this, so she resisted the strong urge to turn and look at him. She laid there in silence until he was ready to continue.

"So uh, the medication she was on seemed to stop being as effective when I was a late teen. I had already gotten into college at Caltech and was there, calling her daily to make sure she was taking them. When I was 18 I couldn't take proper care of her anymore.. I had her institutionalized. She's, ah, she's still there. In Las Vegas. I write to her everyday, and I know she's in much better care there.."

At this point, Amelia scooched up, leaning her back against the pillows to look down at Spencer. Still not meeting her eyes, he gently laid his head on her belly. She entangled her fingers in his hair, gently playing with it.

"I just.. I want you to know you can talk to me. About your mom, or you past, or whatever you want. I know it's not the same exact thing, but I will always listen to you Lee."