Strange Encounter - a Criminal Minds fic

Chapter 44

Spencer grabbed Amelia's arm as they walked into Rossi's, catching her before they ran into everyone else.

"Lee, can we just-"

"Later, Spence." She gave him a tight lipped smile. "It's okay, really."

And, rationally, it was. They'd only known each other for a few months at this point, and she knew it was crazy for her to have told him that. She also knew she had to, it would've slipped out sooner rather than later. But that didn't mean that it didn't sting a little bit that he didn't say it back.

He watched as she walked into the living room behind Derek, hearing everyone greet her. 

"Bella donna, you look stunning!" He heard Rossi say. "Where's that boy wonder of ours?"

"He's, ah, he's coming. He'll be in in a second" he heard Amelia respond. 

Spencer ducked into a nearby bathroom, leaning both hands on the sink and lowering his head. Of course he loved Amelia, so why couldn't he say it back? He had wanted her to mean it when she said it over the phone, he should be happy. 

A knock startled him on the bathroom door.

"Uh, one minute."

"Spence?" He heard JJ's voice from the other side. He cracked open the door and stood in the doorway. "What's taking you so long?"

He rung his hands in front of him, looking down at his feet. JJ picked up on his body language and gave him a questioning look. Normally, Spencer wouldn't share much personal information, but when it came to Amelia he didn't want to lose her.

"Can we, uh, go outside for a second?" JJ nodded and headed to the front door, Spencer following suit. They sat on a bench near the door, JJ raising an eyebrow.

"What's going on? Amelia seemed okay but.. off."

Spencer look at his hands that were resting in his lap. "She told me she loved me" he said, so quietly JJ almost missed it.

She let out an exhale and sat back in the bench. "And, is that a bad thing? Do you.. not feel the same way?"

With that Spencer stood up and started pacing, shaking his head adamantly. 

"That's the thing, JJ, I do. I do.. love her. I just.." He trailed off, trying to find the words. "There's so much she doesn't know about me that I'm afraid once she does know these things, she'll change her mind." He stopped pacing then, admitting it out loud causing him to grow more nervous. 

JJ stood and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Spence.. if she loves you, and I mean really truly loves you, the things that happened in your past won't change her mind." She knew part of what he as referring to was Tobias Hankel, and his battle with dilaudid. "You overcame that part of yourself, and knowing Lia, she'll realize that. It might take her some time to sit with this information, but if she loves you like I think she does, it won't change anything."

Spencer stood still, still looking at the ground. He slowly lifted his head to meet JJ's eyes. He realized rationally that she was right, but that didn't mean it was going to be any easier to talk to Amelia about these things. 

"You're right, JJ. Thank you."

She nodded her head and gave him a quick hug. "Alright, let's get back in there before Rossi makes Lia his fourth wife."

♡

As the night went on, Amelia grew less upset about what had happened in the car. She knew she had to give Spencer time, and that was okay. She'd be willing to wait forever for him, she knew that. She looked for him across the room and found him sitting with Hotch and Penelope, not really engaged in their conversation. He stared down at his mug of cider, tapping his fingertips across the counter in quick succession. He was anxious, and Amelia felt a pang in her chest knowing she caused this.