Do You Believe? - Sugawara Kōshi x Reader

- Chapter 17 -

"Do you believe that for once, I actually had hope for us?"

This is the final night you'll be spending at the camp, then you'll be heading back to Miyagi. You've gotten used to meeting Akaashi at that same balcony, but tonight he had to help his partner, Bokuto, practice.

Yet, you still went down that hall, not really expecting anything. You eventually got to the door that lead to the balcony, you placed your hand on the door handle, but froze when you heard a noise.

It wasn't creepy or disturbing, but instead sounded calm. You opened the door, to be greeted with rain. You didn't step out, but instead stretched your arm out to feel the rain.

"Oh hey, are you going to the bathroom too?" A very familiar voice asked, you turned your head towards them, giving them a gentle smile when you realized it was Sugawara.

"No, I was going to go outside, but the balcony might be too slippery." You said, slowly dropping your arm back to your sides.

"Oh, well we can both go downstairs and check out the rain after I got the bathroom, if you want to that is." He suggested, making you smile and nod, liking his plan. The bathroom was right next to the balcony so you didn't have to move anywhere, you just waited patiently.

---

You took the first step outside, being careful in case it was too slippery, Sugawara slowly followed along. You stepped off the sidewalk, onto the muddy grass, somehow unaffected.

"Oi, wait- you'll get your shoes muddy!" Sugawara reminded, making you look at your semi-mudded shoes and sigh.

"Oh well, these aren't my best shoes anyway, they can get dirty." You said, continuing to walk along the grass, Sugawara hesitated, but eventually decided to follow you.

You both walked around in a small area, you going in circles, and Sugawara just following along, all in the rain, a memory popping in Sugawara's head, making him smile.

"I forget that you like the rain sometimes." He said, you nodded, still going around in circles, until suddenly stopping.

"Remember when we'd dance in the rain, when we were in elementary?" You asked, reaching up towards the sky, as if you were grabbing an invisible object.

"Yeah, there was never music so we'd use the sound of rain as a substitute." He said nodding, you lowered your hand, instead stretching it towards Sugawara, asking him to take your hand. He complied easily, making you smile, Sugawara repeating your actions and smiling as well.

You two pulled each other together and mimicked a ballroom dance routine, even though neither of you really had experience with the topic. You both simultaneously took the same steps, as if it was planned, but it wasn't.

The steps slowly got sloppy and playful later on, to the point where you two weren't really dancing, but playing around instead. You both ended up get mud on your lower legs and shoes, but didn't really mind all that much. After the rain fest, you two sat on a bench under a shade structure attempting to dry off while conversating.

To be completely honest, you were relieved, it's been quite a while since you've had a normal, and casual conversation with Sugawara, it's like things sort of went back to where they were before. You couldn't help but thank Akaashi for the advice he gave you.

"Y'know, that conversation we had a while ago... where you asked me why Oikawa loved you, why did you ask me?" Sugawara asked, naturally, your eyebrows raised a bit when he brought up the subject.

"Well, I actually asked Oikawa, but he didn't tell me, instead he suggested asking you for some reason." You explained, laughing quietly at the end. You both sat in a silence, it wasn't awkward though, then again, it wasn't comfortable either. It was just, silent.

Until you let out a small gasp of realization, thinking you now knew why Oikawa told you to ask Sugawara instead.

"Sugawara, do you love me...?" You asked, quietly, scared of being too loud. Sugawara's eyes widened, yet the rest of his face stayed the same. Neither of you looked at each other, in once again, silence.

"Do you?" You asked again, wanting, no, needing an answer.

"I like you." He said, it wasn't love, but like, but you couldn't complain, you really thought you were getting somewhere, so you smil-

"As a friend." He added. Your soon to be smile dropped immediately, furrowing your eyebrows along the way.

"Sorry..." He finalized, realizing quickly what he said must've came out wrong. You shook your head, going back to your normal posture.

"It's fine, it's just that..." You started, nervously laughing at the end, turning towards him with a saddened smile.

"Do you believe that for once, I actually had hope for us?"

You said, getting up. Your actions making Sugawara's eye widen again, you headed over to the door inside, yet Sugawara didn't move, for some reason, he just couldn't.

"I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight Suga." You said, waving goodbye before entering. Thoughts flooded through your head, still confused, frustrated, sad, but somehow still calm outside.

Hope, something that doesn't last, something that's meant to be broken, not by yourself, but simply, by others.

You thought in your head, sighing once more. Without meaning to, you ended up in front of the balcony door once more. Seeing that you were already drenched, you decided to step out on the balcony by yourself.

~

P.S!! When you come back from the training camp, you'll get more letters from me, so check your mailbox for that! Thanks for reading, see you soon <3 <3 <3

~

A memory, from when Sugawara left the night you got the necklace. On the back of the paper, there was more writing that specifically said that. You smiled, knowing there was at least something to look forward for, someone actually waiting for you.

Too tired, and too unmotivated to do anything else, you headed back to the girls dorms, still damp. It was 10pm, and most of the girls were still awake, all except Miyanoshita and Kaori. Opening the door brought enough attention to you itself.

"Oh (Y/N)- wait, you're soaking wet... I'll get you a change of clothes hold on" Shimizu said, getting up to look in your clothing bag. Shimizu handed you a clean set of clothes she found and led you to the shower rooms even though you were just going to change.

She stood inside by the towel racks while you changed, thinking before deciding to conversate.

"So, why are you soaking? Were you at the balcony again?" She asked, observing the towels even though there was nothing special about them.

"I went outside with Sugawara and we talked, then I went to the balcony, and afterwards, to the dorms." You said, changing your final piece of clothing as Shimizu nodded.

"Done." You said, making her turn around to see you. She smiled at your appearance, and headed towards the door, you followed her out.

"So, what'd you talk about with Sugawara?" She asked as you both made your way to the dorms.

"I asked him if he loved me." You said quietly, Shimizu stopped in her tracks in shock, turning her head towards you to see if you were really serious, and unfortunately for her, you were.

"What'd he say?" She asked, heading towards you, at the time you were looking at the floor, but you looked up to answer her.

"He said no."

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(A/N): YA'LL- OKAY SORRY FOR 2 THINGS- ONE FOR THIS BEING SO SAD BAHAHAHH SECONDLY, FOR IT BEING SHORTER THAN USUAL- I- YEAH- uHH uuhU HUH UHUH IM SCARED- I HAVE PARENT CONFERENCES AND IM ✨TERRIFIED✨ SO- IF I DONT UPDATE IN 2 WEEKS IM DEAD FROM CONFERENCES 🙊