Runners

14. Butterfly

LILY POV:

After about twenty minutes of me reassuring Lu that I was fine, he finally left to go back downstairs. I couldn't go back down there, knowing I went total freak out mode on them. How embarrassing. I don't think I can ever face them again.

I might have to move to England and live in the middle of a cow farm. Don't ask me why I thought of that, but that's the plan.

I hear a gentle knocking on my door and I grip my sheets tighter. It's time for my punishment, isn't it? Oh, I thought I was free. But, I suppose, I'm never going to be free. I don't deserve to be free.

The door opens and Mattia slowly approaches me. He perches on the end of the bed by my feet, and my whole body moves with the thudding of my heart. I wasn't expecting my punishment to be from him.

"Are you alright, mi mariposa?" It takes me a minute to try and understand why he is speaking so gently, and then I realise this is probably how he likes it. Creating a false sense of security before he attacks. It's smart, but oh so cruel.

I have to play along, or I know it will just get worse. Where is Lu?

"F-fine, sir. I'm ver-very sorry. It won't happen a-again." I hate how he broke me. Not only my body, but my mind. Pathetic. Weak. Worthless. I deserved it.

Mattia shakes his head, "it was an accident, they happen. It's okay, mariposa." I blink at him. Wow, he's good at this. That makes me even more scared, if that was even possible.

Knowing that I will be severely in pain anyway, I decide to gather enough courage to ask him a question even though that will make him angry. My questions always made him angry. "Wh-why do you say that? Mariposa, what is that?"

I shut my eyes, awaiting a fist to the jaw. But it doesn't come. "You do not remember?" His voice is laced with sadness, and when I shake my head he gives a sad smile. "No, I suppose you were too young to remember."

He clears his throat, "as I'm sure you now know, Freya fled before you were born. Your father and brothers searched high and low for you two. Myself included. And we never seemed to get close, you were like the wind. There one moment and vanishing the next. Rather impressive really."

He reaches out a hand for mine and I snatch it back, a look of hurt flashes across his face but he continues. "Maybe five years after you were taken, I was on a business trip. I was alone, which is unusual in my line of work, but essential for this specific trip. I had been working all day, and decided on a whim to sit on a bench in the centre of a park."

He smiles, looking up at the ceiling as if he was reliving this moment. "Next thing I know, a tiny little thing is running towards me. Barrelling straight on, unable to see due to the curls in-front of her eyes."

He lets out a quiet laugh, "she smacks straight into my legs, falling backwards onto her back. It was a hard landing, and I was concerned that she had hurt herself. But you know what happened? She giggled. Shoving the hair from her eyes with her forearm, smiling up at me. She smiled, flashing missing teeth at me and showed me her hands which were clasped together."

"Hello Mr man!" She squeals, struggling to get back to her feet. Her knees are covered in mud, grass-stains all across her pale blue dress. "Look! Look!" She chants, holding out her clasped hands.

The man sits forward, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches the little girl. Her excitement contagious. "What have you got there?" He ponders. This only causes her to smile brighter and get closer so they are directly in front of each other.

All of a sudden her face turns serious, "don't tell Lulu, he will be sad I showed you first!" She demands. He tries his best not to laugh at her attempt at being intimidating. "Of course, I will not tell a soul." She narrows her eyes at him, staying silent for a few seconds before deciding she can trust him. She gives a single nod. Her smile returning in full force.

"This is my friend." She opens up her hands, revealing a small blue butterfly. "I was careful not to touch its wings. Ma says that they have magical dust to help them fly. I wish I had magical dust. I would fly allll over to everywhere!"

The man smiles, looking from the butterfly to the girls eyes. "She looks like you." He states, noting how the shades of blue are in her eyes. She jumps up and down, the butterfly happily sitting in her small palms. "I'm a butterfly! I'm a butterfly!"

He smiles, for the first time in years. "Indeed you are, mariposa." She tilts her head in confusion, not knowing the funny word the man just said. "A butterfly." He confirms and she grips onto his legs in a tight hug. He's stiff at first, not used to being hugged, but eventually brushes the hair from her face.

The girl looks behind her, and lets out a small "oopsies" knowing Lulu was going to be mad she ran off. "I have to go Mr man. Can you look after her pretty please? I know I'm your butterfly but she can be too!" He laughs, amazed by the mind of the child. His butterfly.

"I will always look after mi mariposa," he crouched down to her level, opening his hands so she can tip the butterfly into his hands. She beams up at him, "bye bye Mr man!" She runs off in the direction she came, meeting up with a young boy with the same coloured hair.

He grabs her hand, walking towards a worn down blue car at the side of the road. The girl turns and smiles at the man, the butterfly still in his hands.

The front door of the car opens revealing someone he never thought he would see again. His heart drops, bile rising in his throat as the woman stares straight into his eyes. Fear present in her stance. She grabs the children, as everything in his mind clicks into place.

He begins slowly stepping closer to the vehicle, gradually moving into a sprint, but the car is already pulling away. It's tyres screeching against the roads as she drives.

He found them, and he didn't even know. How stupid could he be.

He looks down at the butterfly in his hand, his vision becoming blurred. It's wings flutter, twitching, and it lifts itself away from his skin and into the open sky. Gone.

They're gone.

Mattia closes his eyes, and I know that he is forcing back tears. I feel an aching in my chest, and I do something I never thought I would.

I reach out my hand, slowly holding onto his and his eyes shoot open. He smiles, a single tear falling down his cheek as he lets out a sob. My heart cracks, the sounds of his crying like a hammer against my skull. I know what it's like. No one should feel this way.

"I'm so s-sorry, mi Mariposa. I lost you. I promised and I couldn't keep it." He cries. I pull on his arm, pulling him against my body as I hold him. His arms wrap around my back, his body shaking with each sob. I don't feel any pain. I feel safe. And that scares me.

He refuses to let go, and I continue to comfort him, for what feels like an hour. When he finally pulls back, his puffy eyes have calmed and his breathing is less erratic. Though he still sniffles from time to time. "Are you feeling better?" I ask him, and he offers a small smile and nods in response.

I don't know why, but knowing he isn't sad anymore makes the ache in my chest ease. I feel like I helped. Like he needed me.

Like I wasn't useless.

—**—
Words: 1395

A/N : the past is slowly starting to be revealed!!