Found Hearts

4. Found a car ride

I was currently sipping on a diet coke, while Latika went inside the changing room once again, with another employee in the shop to help her with her 6th trial of the wedding lehenga. We've been here for 3 hours, me, Latika, and Rekha Aunty. Kabir dropped us here and drove off to meet up with some friends as he was in Delhi after literally more than 6 months.  

Aunty was admiring a banarasi silk saree (it was her 8th one I guess), I think I already repeated Latika was on her 6th trial, and I was on my third diet coke- which the owner of the shop has so cheerfully offered- my ass perched on a cushioned stool. 

I watched as Rekha Aunty took the saree in her hand and fake-draped it over her shoulder. The saree did look great, with shades of peach and lavender being highlighted under the golden lights stuck in the ceiling. 

It was our 4th shopping trip during the week. And Aunty and Latika both had reassured me that there is nothing to worry about, we'd have plenty more, until the wedding, so I was very thrilled (note the sarcasm). 

Not gonna lie, shopping was fun, but only when you have left at least something to shop for yourself. Not when your ass is stuck on a stool with a 20-something employee giving you dirty looks across from the room, and you have to advise other people on how they look, or how you think the piece of accessory or clothing looked on them. 

I was bored to death since all my shopping has already been done during the first two trips. That is maybe because, I and Latika have bought all my outfits for the wedding and other functions included, and all hers too, except for her wedding lehenga. 

She was worried since it was tradition that the lehenga of the bride was bought, and sent by the groom's family. And then she confessed to me that she was worried it'd be something completely opposite from her choice or she'd end up looking horrible. 

The whole ordeal sounded kinda bullshit to me, because.. now you can't even expect and accept the bride to choose what she would wear to her own wedding? Talk about women's liberalization. 

In Taylor Swift's language, Fuck the patriarchy. 

Before I could have had a nice chat with Jeet or his family, they had called and asked Latika to choose her lehenga, because it was her wedding. And that to not break the tradition they would pay for it. 

It was still bullshit, but it was better than the previous option. 

These kinda things were one reason, I've had a love-hate relationship with weddings. I loved them well.. because they were nice, they brought families together, they were like a whole festival in itself. Because a wedding is a celebration. You dance, you mingle, you have fun. Well, fun if it's not your own or a family member's wedding anyway. But still, the whole thing is actually relaxing to forget the mundane problems for a while and let loose, in the glitters of your traditional outfits, and capture the moments in photographs. 

Now, the reason for my hate. I've hated them, because something as simple as a union, between two people, why'd it have to be converted into such a huge deal? Why do so many traditions and 'my culture' and 'your culture' thing has to be brought in between?  Why can't two people be tied together peacefully with a day of celebration by their families and relatives not converting it into months and months of customary torture? The exchange of gifts, the involvement of families more than the involvement of the two people who want to get married themselves. How did that make sense?

In India, a marriage was not only a union between two people, who want to spend the rest of their lives together. Here, it was more like their families saying, 'You want to stay together or not, not our problem, but we are being united because of you two instead. And you better respect that otherwise the consequences will be grave.'