Modern family: Addition

Undeck the halls (3)

(To be continued)

Claire : Phil, Phil. Alex, come on back. Starting December 26th,
you are grounded for a full week, and that includes New Year's
eve.

Alex : But I was g...
Claire : no, nonnegotiable, so...

Phil: Mm.

Claire : Yeah.

Alex : Fine.

Phil : Everybody! It's official! Christmas is back on!

Luke : It is? What happened?

Phil : Doesn't matter! Stockings, lights, ornaments, wreath! Go, go, go!

Luke : Okay!

Me (shouting) : No. Stop it all. Stop. Mom, dad are you really not seeing, Alex is lying Okay. Come on, do you two really believe that one of us will smoke and on top of that it will be Alex.

Phil: What?! What are you saying?

Me: All I'm saying that it's not her fault. Have some minimum faith in us, Mom.

Claire: What you are saying is making sense but again how did it happened?

Me: Don't worry, I have figured it out. It's nothing but a simple application of principals of Optics involving Light and lens. When light ray passes through a convex lens, having arrived along a direction parallel to its axis, they converge at a point called the focus. It is, of course, a known fact that sunlight carries a lot of energy and heats up the earth’s surface everyday-

Claire : Wait wait wait. What are you trying to say.

Me: I think Alex understood what I'm saying but for rest of you, I will simplify. Remember when a magnifying glass is held over a piece of paper at certain distance, after some time paper catches the fire.

Phil: Yes. I know it.

Hayley : So?

Me: So, it's the same phenomenon going on here as well. Come here and see. Sunlight coming straight from outside through open window is falling on this ornament that grandpa sent us. It's acting as magnifying glass and light concentrated by this ornament is projected at this brunt part of sofa which is at a distance of focal length of the ornament. Hence it is burning the sofa.

Claire : What?! It's not possible.

Alex: It may be possible.

Me: No. That's what is happening here. Okay if you don't believe it, we all will just stay here for some time and let's see if I'm right or you all.

(After some time)

Claire : Oh my God. It's smoking. Sofa is burning........ Sofa is burning!

Phil: Oh my God. Will was right all the time. Genius. Genius.

Me: Thanks Dad.

Alex: Thanks Will.

Me: Hey! No problem. As I said earlier that it's not us. See it's not us.

Haley : Hey, how weird is that? It's burning a hole in the exact
same spot that Alex was smoking in.

Claire : Oh, Haley. Will, my baby, sweetheart, you were correct as always.

Me: Thanks Mom.

Phil : Alex, why'd you take the blame?

Alex : I didn't want to lose Christmas.

Phil : That is so stinking beautiful. Get in here.

Luke : Bear hug!

Haley : You were going to take Christmas away for something that none of us did.

Phil : Well, um...Christmas is about moving forward.

Alex : I've never heard that.

Me: No. I heard it just a moment before. Hahaha.

Everyone: Hahaha.

Claire : Actually, honey, you did kind of shoot your mouth off.

Luke : You called us all liars.

Alex : Yeah, you did, and then you took away the biggest holiday...

Me: And Mom and dad, please have some faith in your upbringing Okay.

Phil : I don't know. Let's... let's not all get worked up. I made a
mistake. I made a mistake. And people make mistakes. And they
make up for those mistakes...

Claire : Mm- hmm

Phil : ... by taking their family to Italy!

Haley: Oh, my god!

Kids : Yeah

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Pritchett household

Gloria : Now, remind me, we put this into the oven first thing
tomorrow 'cause Jay wants to eat at 3:00. Ay, Manny. Did you put
this spider in the fridge?

Manny : Oh, yeah. Inocente.

Gloria : Oh, papi, what's wrong?

Manny : I want to have Christmas like they do in Colombia. Jay is
messing everything up.

Gloria : Manny, try to understand. Jay has great memories with
his kids when they were young. And he just wants to re-create
them with you.

Manny : So, maybe the best gift I could give Jay Would be
Christmas like he used to have it?

Gloria : You're such a beautiful boy. One day, you're gonna grow
up and I'm gonna miss all the things that you used to do as a little boy.

Manny : Okay, but if this so-called Santa Claus doesn't bring me a
burgundy dinner jacket, we're going to have a big problem.

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Pritchett-Tucker household

Cameron : Um, that sounds like a stressful job to me.

Santa/Scott : Mm, not as much as you'd think. They always made
sure one of us had a blank so nobody knew who took the fatal
shot. This was mighty tasty. Well, I don't want to overstay my
welcome Or you won't have me back. You guys enjoy the rest of
your night. You're good people.

Mitchell : Scott, wait. Wait. Don't forget your laundry.

Santa/Scott : Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Merry
Christmas.

Cameron : Scott, merry Christmas to... to you, too, and happy...
Son of a bitch!

Santa/Scott : What?

Mitchell : Oh, it's the new Greensleevers. They're Cameron's old caroling group. They kicked him out this year.

Cameron : I mean, it is one thing to kick me out of the group, but
to... to rub my nose in it? I'm turning on the sprinklers.

Santa/Scott : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know it feels good
to get even, believe me, to see the fear in a man's eyes is... But
there's something that feels even better... forgiveness.

Cameron : Scott, you don't understand. This... this group was my "Dreamgirls." I was Effie.

Santa/Scott : Do you know what the best thing I did all day was?
Forgiving you for getting me fired.

(All three came outside)

Cameron : Andrew. Ensemble. I know it's no accident that you're
here on my street tonight. And I... I just wanted to say to you all
that you sound great. And...Merry Christmas.

Andrew : Wow. Even your apology is off-key.

Santa/Scott : Not cool, buddy. (Scott punched Andrew in the face)

Everyone : Ooh! Ooh!

Cameron : But... but... but what about... what about forgiveness?

Santa/Scott : You were nice. He was naughty.

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Pritchett household

Gloria : Where were you for so long?

Jay : Just a little last-minute shopping. What's this?

Manny : Buñuelos.

Jay : Who? What?

Gloria : Cheese fritters. It's a Colombian traditional Christmas
food.

Jay : Okay, new rule : from now on, we do Colombian things when we're in Colombia. We do American things when we're in
America. That means no more of your food, no more of your
music, And especially no more of your crazy holidays! Inocente!

Gloria : Jay!

Jay : What? Did I say it wrong? You two are total inocentes. You
should see the look on your faces. And by the way, you know how
hard it is to get fireworks on Christmas eve?

Gloria : Go, Manny. Thank you.

Jay : We talk a lot about tradition this time of year. But as much as
we love our traditions, sometimes our best memories come from
the times that are the most untraditional. We remember the year mom and dad went crazy. We remember the year Santa punched out the caroler. But for me, this was the year that the word "tradition" got a lot bigger.