Modern family: Addition

Not in my house (3)

Scene: Dunphy household

Luke : Mom, can I talk to you?

Claire : Sure, honey. What's going on?

Luke : I feel bad about something I did.

Claire : Oh, sweetie. Is this about what you did earlier?

Luke : Yeah.

Claire : Something you shouldn't have been looking at?

Luke : Yeah. It was just so freaky. I couldn't stop looking.

Claire : I know, sweet pea, But the important thing is you did stop
looking.

Luke : Yeah. After about an hour.

Claire : Okay. Well, it's perfectly normal to be curious about these things.

Luke : Some parts were funny.

Claire : Mm- hmm.

Luke : And some parts just seemed crazy.

Claire : Well, I hope you realize that some of those parts weren't
real.

Luke : Obviously. But they can be totally real, right?

Claire : Hmm.

Luke : Like Anne Frank's?

Claire : What?

Luke : All I know is, it really made me wonder about Haley.

Claire : That's disturbing, sweetie. Why Haley?

Luke : It was her journal.

Haley : You read my journal? You little creep!

Luke : I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!

Claire : Wait, Haley's journal, too? Luke, you are now grounded in your room for a week.

Luke : What?

Me: Come on! People, What happened now?

Haley : Luke read my journal!

Me: What?!

Alex : I told you it wasn't me!

Haley : I'm gonna kill you!

Claire : Haley, calm down.

Haley : What, you're not even gonna yell at him? That was
private!

Claire : Oh, please. The most shocking thing in there was your spelling.

Haley : You read it, too?

Alex (to me) : Are we the only ones who hasn't read it?

Claire : I was looking in the house for pornographic magazines and erotic stuffs.

Haley : Sick.

Claire : Not for me. I wanted to see what you guys are looking at.

Haley : So you're violating our privacy.

Claire : When I find out that my children are looking at a naked
picture of women and reading Erotica, They don't have any privacy.

Alex : Who was looking at naked pictures?

Claire : That doesn't matter.

Haley : I wasn't.

Luke : It wasn't me! That's gross! I'm 11!

Claire : Wait a minute.

Luke : What's wrong with you people?

Claire : If it wasn't you, who was it?

(Phil entering from main door into house)

Phil : Mangia!

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Pritchett- Tucker household

Cameron : Rosa, thank you for coming.

Rosa : Gracias.

Cameron : Carlos, let me know how it works out with that dentist. Victor, you owe me a dance.

(Commentary)

Cameron : Yes, I'm a caring person, and without Mitchell, I would just keep giving and giving and giving. I'm like a big, runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my of f-ramp full of safety gravel. He knows how to say no. He always can put himself first. He certainly can turn his back on someone's suffering.

Mitchell : Um... No, really, keep going.

Cameron : He...

Mitchell : Don't keep going!

(Back to the scene)

Cameron : Gracias. Goodbye. That was nice.

Mitchell : Oh, god! Dad.

Jay : Looks like I missed the party, huh?

Mitchell : What I... what is that doing here?

Jay : He is a gift for you and Cam.

Cameron : Thank you.

Jay : He lost his monocle on the drive. His head was out the
window.

Cameron : Well, they love that.
Jay : I'll just put him here for now.

Mitchell : I don't want that.

Cameron : I think he's cute. Let's give him a chance.

(Gloria entering the house)

Gloria : I came as soon as I heard your message. Did you say that
somebody was getting married?

Jay : Gloria, there you are! I've got good news! (seeing the situation, Gloria left angrily)
What's the matter?

(Cut the scene)

Scene: Dunphy household

Phil : Honey? Hey. I'm really sorry. That magazine was just
something that someone sent me. Doesn't matter who. Gil Thorpe.
Anyway... I don't do that stuff. You're all the porn I need.

Claire : That's... Honey, it's fine. It's fine.

Phil : Aah!

Claire : Now it's fine.

(Commentary)

Claire : I couldn't care less about the picture. I was just upset when I thought it was Luke.

Claire : Haley, honey, I really wish you would give me a hand
with all this laundry.

Hayley: Never, ever...

Claire : Haley's off in her own world. Alex has always been shy and introvert. Will.....ah Will is all about Ambition, Money and work even at this young age But Luke is my baby. Is it really too much to ask that he stay a sweet, innocent kid... Forever?

(Back to the scene)

Phil : Hey, buddy. Um... Here, sorry. We'll... we'll dribble later.
Um...I just, uh, I just want to say I'm sorry. I never meant to blame you for that whole magazine thing. Your mom sort of thought it was yours, And I-I should have stopped it, but I didn't.

Luke : So what was in the magazine ?

Phil : Well, it was an adult magazine with Erotica in it. It has pictures of Naked women doing all kinds of stuff.

Luke : Was it hot?

Phil : Okay, we're being honest here. Um... This particular
woman... Well, my tastes do run to the curvy, and the cowboy hat
did not hurt one bit. Couple that with the cut-off jeans... And you
were asking about the weather, weren't you?

Luke : Yeah.

Phil : Well, this is good. This is good. You're gonna be going
through some changes soon, And I think now you can feel safe
talking to me about whatever.

Butler : Sadly, I've been summarily dismissed from the employ of masters Cameron and Mitchell... The former being an utter delight, and the latter being a humorless snoot.

Mitchell : Just... come on, get him in the car. The thrift shop's
closing.

Cameron : What is this exciting thrift shop you speak of? Many of my relatives were taken out of their homes to be released into the green pastures in their maturity!

Mitchell : Did you just say "maturity"?

Cameron : Unhand me, you brute! I regret nothing! I'll pay you.
I'm a comfortable man. I've been stealing from your father for
days. Oh, is there any better feeling in the world than having your ears flap in the wind?

Mitchell : You know what? Get out.

Cameron : You mean it? Sweet freedom No. No, not you, Barkley. Cameron. Out.

Cameron : Oh.

With these dramas going on in my family, There were other things related to my workplace and business was going on as well most recent being in Comic industry.