Modern family: Addition

Benched (2)

Scene : Basketball court

Claire : Honey, I'm gonna take off. I'm gonna buy Alex some
clothes.

Phil : Okey dokee.

Claire : How come you're not coaching?

Phil : 'cause your dad coached football.

Claire : I'm sorry. And I am going to make it up to you tonight.

Phil : And I'll be thinking of your dad while you do.

Claire : Mm. Disturbing.

Mitchell : Hey, Phil. Hey. How's it going?

Phil : Great. Your dad coached football.

Mitchell : Ahh, a fellow victim. (Started talking to Gloria) Thank you again for taking care of Lily. I know it's last-minute.

Gloria : Ay, don't be silly.

Cameron : We'll probably just stick around for a few minutes. You know how fussy she gets when we pass her off, so…

Gloria : No, she seems fine.

Cameron : Yeah.

Gloria : Ay, I think she's getting used to being away from you now that you have the new job. (Started talking to Manny) Mwah! So proud of you!

Manny : We need to talk.

Gloria : Okay. What happened?

Manny : Mom, I love you, but your words of encouragement
Encourage the other kids to make fun of me.

Gloria :Okay, I won't say anything else on the next game. Promise.

Manny : We both know that your Latin blood makes that
impossible. I think it would be better if you didn't come to the next game.

(Cut the scene)

Scene : At beach house

Mitchell : Ah!

Cameron : I know.

Mitchell : I hate our house.

Cameron : I know!

Mitchell : And what's... what's this thing?

Cameron : I don't know, but it's fancy.

Mitchell : Stop... stop playing with it. Come on. Just...Don't break
it.

Charlie : Hey, Mitchell! Charlie Bingham.

Mitchell : Nice to meet you. Hi! This is my partner, Cameron
Tucker.

Charlie : Pleasure. Cameron.

Mitchell : So we just went ahead and parked on that round thingy
in the driveway. Is that... that's fine, right?

Charlie : No problem. It's a turntable so you don't have to back out.

Cameron : Oh. You have a car turntable and you're wearing
rubber. You're like Batman.

Charlie : I really am. Come on in. Turn the music down!

Mitchell : Wow.

Charlie : Pardon the getup. Killer waves today. You guys surf?

Cameron : No.

Charlie : Everybody, say hi. Hi. Hi. Hello! That's Jolie. She's my secretary. She cheats at poker. You do. And that's my
girlfriend, Jenny. She makes a hell of a margarita. Want one?

Cameron : Absolutely.

Mitchell : Oh, no, not... o- okay.

Charlie : Everybody, Mitchell Pritchett and his partner,
Cameron.

Cameron : Business partners. Mergers and acquisitions. I'm
kidding. We're gay.

Mitchell : Stop talking.

(Commentary)

Cameron : When things are relaxed, I'm great in social situations. I would have fit in at the Algonquin round table. But when the stakes are high, I get a little tense. I'd be the guy that would knock over the round table. Then Dorothy Parker would make a quip, James Thurber would laugh, And then I would end up leaving, crying.

(Back to the scene)

Scene : In the car

Claire : How long you been on the lam?

Alex : What?

Claire : Honey, you are looking around like the feds are after you.

Alex : No, I'm not. Let's just get this over with.

Claire : Oh! Great.

Alex : Oh, no. It's them.

Claire : Oh! Oh, you know those girls from school. Hey!

Alex : Let's go. Over here.

Claire : What... what is your problem?

Alex : Nothing. I'll meet you at the car in an hour. Please, mom.
Please. Hi, Jenna.

(Commentary)

Claire : And just like that, my baby girl became a teenager. She
entered that dreaded phase where my very existence embarrasses her. I'm just glad that Will isn't embarrassed of me.

Phil : I-I think I can help. You're not your mom. Wow, that's your
mom. Oh, I just got chills.

(Back to the scene)

Scene : At beach house

Charlie : So, first off, I'm a fan. I saw you in court once.

Mitchell : seriously?

Charlie : Yeah. Mayhew vs. Propyltech. You are a good lawyer. If you'd have handled my divorce, this house would be twice as big.

Cameron : Oh, he's better than good. Try winning an argument
with him. Last night, I wanted to have Indian for dinner…

Mitchell : And we're talking again.

Charlie : Top of your class at Cornell and Columbia law. Had your pick of jobs but instead chose to work in environmental law until last month.

Cameron : And he used to be a really great figure skater.

Charlie : Why'd you quit?

Cameron : His sister lost interest, and then there was...

Mitchell : He means my job!

Charlie : You can tell me about figure skating, too.

Mitchell : Um, well, it was... She did lose interest.

Charlie : That's enough.

Mitchell : Okay.

(Cut the scene)

Scene : Outside Cloth store

Gloria : Iqué linda! Iay, qué linda!

Claire : Oh, my gosh! I didn't know you guys were gonna be here.

Gloria : Hola, Claire.

Claire : Mwah! Hi, Lily. Mwah, mwah!

Gloria : I had enough basketball for one day.

Claire : Oh, I know. Come here, sweetie. Oh, sweet thing, you love me, And you want me to buy you a dress.

Gloria : Ay, but I'm gonna buy her some shoes first.

Claire : What's that, Lily? Do you want me to buy you a dress? She
said, "yes".

Gloria : She did not say, "yes."

(Cut the scene)

Scene : At basketball court

Phil : Okay, "win" on 3. 1, 2, 3...

Boys : Win!

Phil : Don't forget the pick- and- roll. These guys won't know how to defend it.

Jay : Phil, try not to confuse my boys, okay?

Phil : Okay. I sleep with your daughter.

Jay : What?

Phil : Good luck.

Jay : All right, let's go, let's go! Come on, let's go!

Phil : Get out there. Hustle up!
Jay : Get the tip! Get the tip! Oh! All right. Keep the hustle, keep
the hustle. Come on, boys. Don't let them push you around. Oh!
All right, little defense. Play defense.

Phil : I did a little scouting, And the other team only has two
shooters. If we isolate both of them --

Jay : Good, Phil, good. Thank you. Good. Manny, pay attention!
What are you looking at?

Manny : What?

(Cut the scene)

Scene : At beach house

Mitchell : And that was some years ago.

Charlie : So, tell me this, What are the regulatory challenges of a renewable energy sources eg. Solar farm?

Mitchell : well, you know, it could be anything. Agriculture,
military, protected species, ironically, even some environmental groups. I think you got all of it. Mm. I think you got it.

Cameron : Yeah, I'm just gonna freshen this up.

Charlie : Let me ask you a question. How do you like the beard? I'm thinking of growing one. Jenny's against it.

Mitchell : Oh, well, I've - I've been very happy with mine.

Charlie : That's it. I'm doing it. Look, I've made a fortune. I want to use it for some good. I need a lawyer to help me navigate. I like you. You get me. So, in or out?

Cameron : I'm very sorry.

Charlie : It's okay.

Mitchell : Um, that's a very big question. You know, I'm obviously gonna have to go talk to my, um... bull in a china shop. I'll be right
back.

Charlie : Sure. Talk it over. It's a major life decision. Hey, jenny!
The beard is on!

(Cut the scene)

Scene : Outside Store

Gloria : Okay, Lily, it's time to buy you beautiful shoes.

Claire : Oh, no, no, no. I saw another really cute dress for her.

Gloria : Ay, she has already six new dresses. What she needs is
strappy shoes.

Claire : Oh. Oh, oh. There's Alex. I'll -- I'll see you later. Alex,
honey. Hi.

Alex : Mom, I said I'd meet you at the car.

Gloria : Ugh. Here.

Claire : Thank you. Still wish you had a daughter?

Gloria : Manny didn't want me at the game today.

Claire : oh, I'm sorry.

Gloria : It's okay.

Claire : No, it's not okay. It sucks.

Gloria : I miss babies. They never tell you to go away.

Claire : Yeah. Or wait in the car. I don't know about you, But I'm
not gonna stand here and feel sorry for myself. You know what we should do?

Gloria : Get pregnant.

Claire : I was gonna say go for ice cream.

Gloria : Okay, we'll do yours first.