You'll Be Mine || Levi Ackerman x Reader

chapter 24

previously: Erwin had given you your punishment for fighting Reiner rather than Levi and you have just left his office.

———

My silence was broken by a rough brush past a shoulder. I saw papers scattered across the floor.

A pit opened up in my stomach, a huge, huge gaping pit.

'I'm sorry, Sir.' I picked up the papers at the man's feet and handed them back to him.

His cold fingertips brushed mine and I quickly retracted my hands.

My eyes locked with his own grey ones. My expression remained detached. His face remained as blank as ever but his eyes faltered- I saw him search my face.

I nodded my head and smiled politely.

I kept walking towards my dormitory, not daring to turn my head. The games were over- I'd risked his status in public and in private- he'd risked my integrity and my heart in public and in private. I was done.

Right?

I kept walking.

I thought about when I first moved into the Corps. The first time Reiner and I fought, the way I jumped on him- intending to kill. The way I would break down in the bathroom, my thoughts constantly moving at 60mph. I thought about the way the Captain reinforced my insecurities, the way he made me feel like I wasn't enough, just as Reiner had done. He showed me his vulnerabilities: small intimate moments; moments where he treated me with care and attention; moments where he seemed to break his cold exterior. And yet, he was still emotionally unintelligible to me.

——-

'Hey, how'd things go with the Commander?'

Eren caught me in the hallway as I headed back to my room.

'Alright, just got a boring two weeks ahead of me.' I sighed and he smiled sympathetically. He took a step towards me and took my right hand in his.

'Y/N-' He started,

I let go of his hand.

'Eren.' I sighed and took a step back. 'I'm beyond grateful for your friendship.'

His face dropped.

'I just can't- I can't keep doing this to you. I'm sorry I've lead you on like this. I really am.'

He paused and seemed to stumble over his own silence.

'Eren, we can still be friends. I'm sorry, it's not you. I'm just not cut out for this at the moment. Okay? I'm sorry.'

His immediate sadness seemed to morph into a melancholy understanding. His eyes smiled and he put his hand on my shoulder affectionately.

'It's okay, Y/N. Really, it- it is.' He said, 'Please take care of yourself- I mean don't let Reiner get to you. I- I don't know what he was saying about the Captain but it's not true. You're one of our best.' His voice trembled with rejection but, he remained composed and supportive. The utter concern on his face made me mourn the negligence I had given his friendship and also my own well-being recently. He waved goodbye as he turned the corner of the hallway and walked away.

how did a dick like the Captain still manage to occupy my mind after a speech like that?

I kept my head down and kept walking. I arrived at my dorm and clambered into bed after changing into some shorts and a vest. My sheets embraced me and I allowed my body to relax. A gentle stream of white light flooded through the gap in the curtains, creating a sense of peace around me as I attempted my first full night of sleep in a while...

———

4AM

Bang.

I awoke with a start, a knock sounded at my door. To my right, Christa remained fast asleep, unbothered by the rattling of the door handle. The intruder must've heard me stir as the knocking ceased.

I opened the door, shuddering as the harsh air hit my exposed shoulders and legs. The door creaked as I pulled it open and there he was.

The Captain's eyes scanned my body and he shook his head,

'Tch. You're not dressed.'

'Why are you everywhere?' I yawned and closed the door behind me, a cold chill surrounding us as we stood alone in the hallway.

'I'm here to take you out for morning training. It's my duty as Captain to run punishment for you and Reiner. Today Hanji volunteered to take Reiner so it seems it's just you and I.' He smiled slyly and I did my best to remain with a blank expression.

'Is there a problem, L/N?' He said, raising an eyebrow slightly. He had observed the change in my attitude, my sudden attempt at coldness. Perhaps he knew I was to grow tired of his games eventually- tired of sneaking around, tired of his power. He didn't seem phased, he was unaffected by my recent endeavours. As always.

'Not at all, sir.' I leant against the doorframe and he watched me carefully, an intense focus in his eyes.

'5 minutes. Be dressed.'

I rolled my eyes and walked into my room, gathering ny things and forcing the clothes over my body as my eyes fought to stay open. I quickly splashed my face and brushed my teeth before stumbling out of the front door and running into Levi.

He looked me up and down once more as he pushed my body slowly away from his own and then proceeded to walk down the corridor, beckoning me to follow.

We arrived at the courtyard, there was a still chill in the air. He stood completely still and looked at me beside him. He studied my face briefly.

'Do you even have an explanation this time?' He asked, his Captain voice coming into play as he questioned me.

'Reiner started it- as he has done almost every time. I mean he-'

He cut me off 'Yeah, okay. But, you didn't finish it this time?'

'No. I couldn't stand the thought of having to sit in your office listening to you tell me how I'm not good enough or whatever again.'

I added: 'Sir.'

His lips curled and he stared at me. I could almost see the cogs move in his head as he thought over my words.

'We'll start today's drills then.'

'Cadet.' He added, gesturing towards the empty space; perfect for running laps.