A Poignant Fallacy

Scene 57- Defeated Again

I dared to turn around and JD had vanished. Should I tell my parents that the timer went off? Are they going to know that the time was too short?

I hear footsteps getting closer. My chair starts to turn around and both of my parents crouch in front of me. I look down at my lap in shame and embarrassment. What twelve year old still sits in timeout?
Sometimes I wish I just got grounded.

"Juliette, look at Daddy." He said to me now calmly.

I obey and look up at his eyes.

"You owe me and your momma an apology." He said nicely to me. Well at least they didn't suspect my timeout was cut 20 minutes short.

Tears start to well up again. I'm so stupid for throwing a tantrum. I wasn't being good enough.

I start to apologize but it comes out small and mumbly, "I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy for kicking and not listening or obeying."

Mom speaks up, "Okay give hugs and kisses."

This was the post timeout ritual. After I apologize for what sin I've done, I hug each of my parents and they both give me kisses. I start with her and I hug her while seated and she gives me a kiss on the forehead. I then hug my father and he does the same.

When I pull out my hug with Daddy he asks me, "Sweetheart, why were you so upset?"

I decided I didn't want to do this anymore and that meant I had to suck it up and tell my parents.

"I don't want Mommy to wash my hair in the sink anymore. It makes me feel like a baby. None of my friends at my old school have to do that."

I said meekly looking down at my lap. Occasionally I would glance up to Daddy to see his reaction. His face was blank as per usual. He didn't let many people see his emotions unless they got the best of him.

Mommy states in a passive tone as she got up and walked away from me, "Well I'm sorry I'm a bad mother for wanting to make sure your hair looks good. A lot of mothers don't care about their daughters, would you like me to do that?" 

She was clearly upset and this was not going well.

"No, no. I'm sorry Mommy. That's not what I meant." I said trying to not get into trouble again.

Daddy put both of his hands on my thighs and got my attention, "Is that what made you cry so much princess?"

He seemed like he genuinely cared to find out why I threw my fit. I smiled at him and buried my head into his chest.

He ran his fingers through my damp hair, "You can tell me baby."

I started again, in better words, "I didn't like having to lay over the sink while everyone watches me get my hair washed. I could do it myself. I'm a big girl."

I started to cry as the more I articulated my emotions, the more upset I got,

"I didn't like being carried and I didn't like being held down. It was so fast that I didn't get to take my necklace off and now it's going to rust."

I grab my necklace and gesture towards my Dad, still crouched in front of me. I then wipe my tears and stop crying.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry about your necklace. Laur, we need to get her some real jewelry." My Daddy says.

That was the least important part of the things I said.

My mother was now across the room watching us while leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Well her birthday is coming up." She says unamused.

My dad pats my thighs to get my attention, "How about you and me go pick out some real jewelry tomorrow morning before the party? It can be a little Daddy-Daughter date."

I smiled and hugged him again, "Okay." I said excitedly. I do rarely spend one on one time with him, but I couldn't help but notice that he totally brushed over all of my concerns.

I still test my luck, "Does that mean I still have to get my hair washed by Mommy?"

Daddy looks at me hesitantly. Which meant the answer was ultimately, yes.

My Mommy chimes in, "Juliette, when you can show me that you can wash your hair good enough then you can do it yourself." Saying aggressively across the room.

I start to get angry because when am I ever given the chance?

"Well how are you supposed to know if you never let me do it myself?" I snap back sassily.

My Daddy was angry with me now, "Do you want to go back to timeout?"

I utter a quick apology, "No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being sassy. I didn't mean it."

My Daddy accepted it, "Good. Let us be done talking about this."

I was defeated again. I nod my head and look down ashamed. Not at my disrespectful behavior, but because I was actually stupid enough to believe that anything would change.