Pokémon Book Reviews

Pet Peeves

Hello! Since we're these days a little too busy to post reviews, we've decided to do another little activity – here, we've gathered all the Pokemon Fanfiction pet peeves of each critic. Enjoy the ranting – erm, I mean, perfectly calm and pleasant opinions!

Ivy (@RiverIvy)'s pet peeves:

1. Everyone Looks Like Models

I guess this doesn't apply only to Pokemon fanfiction, but it still is present a heck lot in them, and it drives me crazy with anger.

In just about EVERY (romance and non-romance alike) book I read, the protagonist is always. Freaking. Described. As extremely hot and beautiful.

"My long, shining cascades of dark pink hair blew gently in the wind as I made my way down the streets. My violet eyes blinked as I watched the cars roll by, and I pushed my tall, slender, finely curved body on as I-"

You get the point. SAME nearly always applies to the main character's love interest, which is equally annoying. And, of course, the bitchy girls, the jerks, and the villains all look like monsters.

I'm not saying that no beautiful people are allowed, especially if it's somehow part of what defines their role in the book, or if they have an actual modeling career. Two or three, okay, but for heaven's sake, what's the point of making the protagonist and all his or her friends flawless?

Heaven forbid any of the good characters be *gasp* average-looking!

2. Cliches

I can name a thousand. Here are just a few:

- MC (main character) is somehow rescued by their love interests in the beginning of the story and goes on an adventure with them *cough*every Gold and Silver fanfic ever*cough**cough* (not to say all of them are bad. Some are amazing, but just about ninety-nine percent of them are exact replicas of each other.)

- MC is forbidden to go on a Pokemon journey because their parents forbid them to (for no reason at all).

- MC is "the chosen one"; again, for no reason really (usually involves legendaries. Pretty much ALWAYS involves legendaries).

- MC encounters dozens of legendaries along the journey, for nor real reason other than "my character is so special!!1"

- WORSE: MC freaking CAPTURES dozens of legendaries along the journey, BONUS points if it passed by in a breeze (which it usually does).

- EVEN WORSE: MC starts off with a legendary (usually Mew. No idea why, it's always fudging Mew.)

- MC has an abusive Dad who's constantly drunk and beats her all the time (nearly always with a dead mother. Idk man).

- Very young characters are mature and very able to take care of themselves in the wild, without ever getting lost, hurt, hungry, thirsty, etc. (keep in mind, usually having little-to-no experience).

3. Eeveelutions

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Eeveelutions just as much as the next person – they're all cute, fluffy, powerful, and best of all, there's a variety to choose from!

But what Pokemon Fanfiction writers will never seem to understand is that they're FUDGING RARE. REALLY, REALLY RARE.

Unless you obtain your Eevee in a REASONABLE way (example: with Bill giving you the egg, like in the games) then blitch, there's no way at all you can get an Eevee as a starter or somehow obtain one along the way.

They always have freaking Eevee! Either they find them in the wild, or they "rescue" them WHICH IS CLICHÉ AS HELL.

I once read a fic that went like this: a girl was running away from home because their abusive father who beats her *cringes* who became like this after her mother dies *double cringes* forbids her from going on a Pokemon journey *triple cringe* so after she escaped, she was lost and hurt, and an Eevee literally, LI-TE-RA-LLY "came out of nowhere" and started licking her fingers, then somehow rescued her. *over 9,000 cringes*