The Empress Wears Gucci

01

        "Do you think this will look good on me?" Cherry asked me, holding up a sheer white top.

         Cherry is my best friend. She's someone who has been by my side for over six years. We met in elementary school, on bad terms because of my toxicity but our friendship progressed over time. She was the angel and I was the devil, but her goodness seeped out to touch me.

        Her birthday was tomorrow, and I was excited to celebrate with her. We stopped at the mall to shop for a while, mainly for her.

        "You look good in everything," I flattered her.

        "Should I buy this?" Cherry playfully swung the hanger around my face.

        I accidentally took a whiff of the white fabric of the top scowled. "That smells like child labour. I don't support unethical clothing."

        "I'm guessing that's a no..." she murmured.

        We walked out and blended with the crowd. The mall was loaded with people. Loud buzzes of conversation between individuals filled my ears instantly as we began to look for a different store. Imagining all these different lives around me, in the modern-day of capitalism—not saying that capitalism is bad—half of these people are buying something they do not need. I wonder how life would be like before the Industrial Revolution. Scratch that. I wonder how life would be like before technology, before the society we all know and live in. 

         I recently got paid. Working at a lousy fast food restaurant didn't pay me much, but I'm determined to cash out this week. As a person who is dedicated to her job, I didn't really mind working there. However, I did not have the strength to hold back from yelling at annoying customers, so I was put in the kitchen. 

        I didn't know what I wanted to do in life. It was hard for me to decide what I wanted to do, so I took a gap year. Making money was all I thought about to escape the harsh reality that I didn't know what I wanted to do in my life. I didn't want to fall into the abyss of insanity. The existential crisis swirls around me and never leaves. There are times where I feel like I am spiralling out of control. No one wants to feel lost in life. I want to have a purpose.

        As we passed through stores, I stopped at a luxury store.

        "Don't even think about it," Cherry interrupted my thoughts. "Don't you remember you work at—"

        "Shut up!" I interrupted her promptly. In my head, I blurred out her lecturing and headed inside.

        A security guard looked me up and down. 

        The store was spacious but wasn't 'department store big'. There were chandeliers, bright lights, simply a light atmosphere. It looked divine. The illumination of the room attracted my soul, luring me into a huge purple void of debt and disappointment. I picked up the most basic white sneakers. Technically, it wasn't as basic, because of the logo on the side. It was basic because, without the logo, it would be nothing—at least it was the cheapest.

        The leather felt like, well, leather. Soft, expensive, everything that I wanted that I didn't know that I wanted before. "This is it, I am a hundred percent getting this."

        "That is so simple, don't you want to get the ones that are sparkly? Or like, glittery? Or something that doesn't look like that?"

        "What do you mean by that?"

        "Plain white shoes with a logo slapped on them."

        I rolled my eyes but processed what she said. Although she was right, I wanted to treat myself. I smiled at a sales associate. "Do you have a size six?"

        "Yes! I'll get that out for you shortly." the brunette replied back in a rather chirpy tone. She looked and sounded extremely professional.

        Her shiny, chestnut brown hair was properly curled, neatly resting on her shoulder. The tight black dress she wore hugged her figure appealingly, and on top of that, her expensive blazer finished her outfit.

        She looked good.

        "You're really getting that?" my best friend rudely asked for the second time, curling her dyed red hair with her finger. 

        She dyed it recently. Cherry looked great in red, it even fit her name as well. It's been more than a couple of years that I've never seen her in her biological black hair. 

         Before I could reply to her annoyingly asked question, the sound of high heels and the scent interrupted me. "Here you go! My name is Heather and if you have any more questions, please let me know."

        "Alright, thank you!" I took the box from her hand and eyeballed it.

        What a plain box.

        I tried on the shoes quickly, hoping that I didn't crease them and mess them up yet. It fit like a glove. 

        So, I bought it.

        It was already getting late. As I called an Uber, we patiently waited outside. There was a pungent smell of burnt cigarettes but the wind carried it away. Nights like this were fun. It was just the two of us having deep conversations while staring at the stars like two morons.

       A grey car pulled up in front of us and honked twice.

        "Jeez, we get it!" I shrieked, getting into the backseat.

        The man looked around his forties. He turned around and smiled at us. "How are you, ladies?"

        "Great," we both said in unison.

        A year ago, we had a discussion about the dangers of Uber, and ironically we find ourselves in one. 

        The ride was proper, smooth and nothing crazy. But as we reached the highway, I felt my gut instinct kick in. Before I could react, it had already happened.

         A larger car rammed against Cherry's side, causing the car we were in to tilt to the left. Our transportation crashed onto the heavy cement wall separating the other lanes, which was on my side, may I add. I predicted my head went right through the window and collided with the road. I screamed as the pain in my head became too unbearable to handle.

       There was a sudden strong ringing in my ear, it felt like a microwave continuously going off. I wanted to die. The pain was so terrible, that I'd rather die than go through with it. I swear, my skull cracked open as I was just waiting to lose consciousness. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Cherry's face, flames that shone brightly in the dark sky, and the scene of people rushing out of their cars.

        "Can you hear me? Can you hear us?" a soft murmur of voices entered in my head, but the ringing noises were too loud for me to hear the rest of what they were saying. I couldn't open my eyes, I felt paralyzed. My body did absolutely nothing, and I didn't know what to do anymore.

        Then the familiar voice, the loud familiar voice. "Carmen! Carmen! Why are you running away?"

        Cherry. Cherry's alive. I still couldn't do anything. I couldn't respond, not a single lift of a finger. I wasn't running, it felt as if I was in the same spot. Perhaps she saw my soul leave my body. 

        I was dead. I was literally dead. This is it. This is really it. As long as Cherry's alive, I'm alright... I'm dead. I really am.

      I finally accepted my fate.